How to appreciate someone’s faithfulness

This is the eighth post in the Others-oriented fruit of the Spirit series. The topic is faithfulness. Get future posts delivered to you for free by grabbing the RSS feed or email updates.

“Most men will proclaim each his own goodness, but who can find a faithful man?” -Proverbs 20:6

Leaders everywhere want faithfulness. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say it’s the most desirable trait in followers (or at least the first desirable trait). And yet as followers, few of us give it much significance in our lives.

Do we even know what it is?

When I think of faithfulness, I think of two closely related traits.

1. Showing up (available). You might also think of it as reliable.

2. Full of faith. It might not feel like it at first, but this one is close to what we think of when we say a husband is faithful to his wife. This is holding onto ones core beliefs when momentary emotions want to let go. It’s a groundedness (not the children’s punishment kind).

As you can see, both of these are conjoined. And both of these are what we’re wanting when we want faithfulness. But again, I see a real lack of faithfulness around.

I’m not one to let anything just “happen” (at least I try not to). I’m all about taking responsibility for the lameness I see and working to change it. But how?

How can you and I help others with faithfulness?

Again, I think this comes back to our good, ol’ buddies, Thankfulness and Encouragement. Or let’s put those two into one word:

Appreciation

I like that word. (I was going to say, “I appreciate that word,” but that’s too corny even for me.)

As an Economics major, I elected to take a couple accounting classes. You don’t need classes, though, to know that appreciation is when property increases in value. You know, like when your house appreciates? (Yeah, that blessing that’s so ’90s.)

So by appreciating someone’s faithfulness, I mean two things:

1. Valuing the faithfulness that’s already there.

2. Adding faithfulness to what’s already there.

The first requires thankfulness – the second, encouragement. That’s where I get the two. Let’s take this one at a time.

Valuing by thanking

We talk about faithfulness – I do anyway – but we forget to thank those who are faithful when they’re faithful. It’s easy to overlook those who show up. After all, they didn’t seem to do anything yet. Except show up.

For me, I know I need to remember that showing up, that staying grounded, is doing something. I can’t take that for granted. And even if I am noticing it, I need to take the initiative to tell those who are faithful. I need to thank them for it.

The key here is to thank for the faithfulness we’re already receiving. We can’t push (yet) or require more (yet). Just be genuinely grateful for those who are faithful, even if it’s only once a month or on issues that seem boringly basic.

Adding by encouraging

This is beautiful because thankfulness, the thankfulness I just described, leads directly into the kind of encouragement that adds faithfulness.

When I genuinely care about others and am grateful for the faithfulness they’re already offering and tell them and show them that, faithfulness rockets.

Faithfulness isn’t difficult. It requires some hustle, some classic elbow grease, but it’s not conceptually difficult. It can even become a habit. With a little (or a lot) of encouragement.

Like a house, faithfulness appreciates if it’s in a healthy environment. You and I can appreciate faithfulness. We can do it by appreciating the faithfulness in others right now, not by pushing them to be more faithful.

Everyone seems to have some level of faithfulness, even if it’s tiny. Appreciating faithfulness is about finding that tiny bit and thanking that person for it over and over again.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Who’s the most faithful person you know? Find a reason, perhaps a subtle reason, to thank that person for it.

(2) Who’s the least faithful person your know? Find a reason to thank that person for some faithfulness they do have.

(3) Who’s someone in the middle, someone who’s neither horrible nor astounding in faithfulness? Find a reason and thank that person. (By the way, #3 is the one who’s most often forgotten. That’s the B-student who’s neither excelling nor failing – so no one pays attention. Pay some attention.)

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Check out the rest of the articles in Bridget Chumbley’s blog carnival on Faithfulness.