How to boost someone’s joy
This is the third post in the Others-oriented fruit of the Spirit series. The topic is kindness. Get future posts delivered to you for free by grabbing the RSS feed or email updates.
Is it possible for someone to be joyful after the death of their mother? Should someone be joyful after such a tragedy?
- The Bible says to rejoice always – and again it says rejoice (Philippians 4:4). How often is “always”? Always.
- The Bible says the joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10). When do we need strength? Exactly in those situations where we’d typically feel least joyful.
So how, as bondChristians, are we supposed to bring joy into someone’s life when someone is experiences pain and sorrow and even death?
It’s a challenge for sure, but let me share part of a testimony with you.
Nick Vujicic
Nick Vujicic was born without arms or legs. As a child and teenager, he needed constant care. His parents had been Christians their whole lives, but Nick’s birth tested their faith more than anything they’d previously experienced.
Nick remembers times when he wanted to end his own life. He felt like a burden even to his own parents. But Nick couldn’t take his own life any more than he could do anything else by himself. He had not arms or legs.
So here’s the “elephant in the room” question: how does someone like Nick rejoice always? How could he?
The Joy/Strength Cycle
The joy of the Lord leads to strength in the Lord, and strength in the Lord leads to joy in the Lord.
That’s the cycle – the challenge is getting someone into that cycle in the first place. Once in, the joy boost will happen by itself.
How to get into the cycle
“Then the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy for all the people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” -Luke 2:10
“And my soul shall be joyful in the Lord; it shall rejoice in His salvation.” -Psalm 35:9
“Therefore, with joy you shall draw water from the wells of salvation.” -Isaiah 12:3
Did you catch the repetition? When the Bible speaks of joy, the joy always comes from realizing an abundance of blessings, most often the blessing of salvation.
I’ve found for myself, joy is a matter of perspective. I’m least joyful when I’m focusing on one area of my life that might look discouraging instead of looking at the overall abundance God’s given me. My joy fails when I take my eyes off the gospel.
I know the gospel message, but I still forget it. Even the great psalmist needed a joy boost… more than once in a while:
“Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by your generous Spirit.” -Psalm 51:12
Part of getting into the cycle, though, is understanding…
Why God gives us difficulty
Difficultly isn’t random. God does everything on purpose.
“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials…” -James 1:2
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” -Romans 8:28
The difficulty is for a purpose. But knowing this, we still forget it.
God has us go through difficulties to strengthen us and draw us closer to Him. We can have joy in that when we recognize that God has a purpose for the difficulties and that purpose is specifically to help us.
That’s how you boost someone’s joy. You help them recognize God’s purpose in their life, especially God’s purpose through the difficulties.
Point to Jesus, not yourself
It sounds dumb for someone like me to tell someone who’s seriously hurting to be glad and rejoice because God has a purpose for the suffering (it feels dumb too). I have a wonderful family, friends, and both arms and legs. Someone might respond and tell me I have no idea what the pain is like. And they would be right. I don’t.
But Someone else has already gone through the pain. Someone else already knows what it’s like to hurt, to suffer, to be left alone. That’s where we’re supposed to point: to Jesus and the salvation and purpose He’s given us.
Once someone realizes that, the Joy/Strength Cycle kicks in, and that person becomes unstoppable. Why? Not because of some hyper, motivational garbage but because of the reality of God’s purpose. God’s purpose is unstoppable when it’s directed through our lives. That is exciting. That is something to be joyful about.
And here’s why joy is so important
I know I often think joy might be the least important attribute of the fruit of the Spirit. I think, Well, it’s important, but I can certainly accomplish all that God wants me to accomplish even if I’m not joyful.
But in reality, the answer is, No, you can’t, Marshall. Thankfulness is the motivator for everything we do for Christ, and joy is the experience we have when we’re thankful. Without joy, we’re not thankful. Without thankfulness, it’s impossible to be motivated to serve God the way He calls us to serve. And without fully giving ourselves to God, it’s impossible for Him to fulfill His purpose through us.
Yes, God can still work with you when you’re not joyful, but He can’t work through you.
Nick Vujicic found this out. Once he shifted his perspective and recognized the wonderful blessing of salvation and God’s purpose for him, he was able to experience joy. As a result, he’s gone on to share his story and joy with hundred’s of thousands of people in several different countries. (You can read more of his story here.)
He received joy, and is now sharing it, boosting others’ joy. What are you doing with your joy?
Serving Suggestions:
(1) I want you to get a taste of this as soon as you can. Today share with someone a reason you’re joyful. And make the reason something the other person could also adopt. (For example, sharing your joy over totally creaming ’em in Backgammon doesn’t count – salvation does.)
(2) Repeat #1 two more times. Today. Now.