How to help someone overcome temptation
There’s certainly an overload of info about overcoming temptation. But it’s usually about overcoming temptation in your own life. What about an others-oriented approach?
What about helping someone else overcome temptation?
As this is a practical guide for serving others, I thought I’d tackle this subject from this different perspective. I also wanted to tackle it from this perspective because…
I have no idea how to do it.
Or very little. Or did have very little when I started investigating. For what it’s worth, as advice from a beginner but grounded in the Bible, it’s an area I’m currently trying to improve in my own life and in my own relationships with others.
Here’s what I’ve learned so far.
Step #1: Initiate help in this area
A huge problem in the area of temptation is that we don’t look out for one another. Yes, everyone has an individual responsibility to guard against temptation. But how much easier could you and I make it for others if we simply took time to care.
As one body of Christ, if one of us falls, we all fall – it’s reflected on the entire church. We ought then to actively seek out opportunities to help others guard against temptation, instead of waiting for others to come to us.
By then, it’s usually past the point of mere temptation.
Step #2: Realize it’s not even about overcoming evil
If you focus on overcoming badness, you’ll fail. Every time. Boycotting is NOT a good idea. The focus is all wrong.
For example, saying, “I won’t eat that doughnut, I won’t eat that doughnut, I won’t eat that doughnut,” over and over again isn’t an effective strategy for not eating that doughnut.
You can use countless tactics to combat temptation, and many of them work to a point: avoid certain stores, certain people, doing certain activities at certain times, and so on. These might work in the sort-run, but in the long-run, they fail because they miss the root of the problem.
Instead…
Step #3: Realize it’s about pursuing godliness
This is a powerful advantage when you’re the one initiating the help (as in Step #1). See, you can always help others pursue godliness, whether you know what temptations they’re dealing with or not. On the other hand, it’s awkward (and heaven forbid, revulsive) to assume someone needs help overcoming the temptation of, say, pornography.
So how do you help someone pursue godliness?
Step #4: Encourage others to pursue godliness
It’s amazing how much we already know. Sure, there are some new concepts we might not quite understand. But in general, most of us already know all we need to know about the Gospel.
The difficulty is in applying it. That’s where encouragement comes in. In short, you can encourage by…
- Reminding what God’s already done in this person’s life.
- Reminding what God’s already done in other people’s lives
- Reminding what God’s already done through Jesus
- [There are literally so many ways to encourage it’s insane to try to explain here. A future post is coming. :>) ]
In very short, encouragement is simply about pointing to Jesus again and again and again and again – so much that the mind and heart completely fill with Jesus (and as a result the temptation is forgotten).
Step #5: Teach love (by living it)
Loving means committing to doing for others instead of yourself. Temptation is by nature a selfish sin (is that redundant – I mean, what sin isn’t?). By switching to loving others, temptation will disappears.
Again, without even knowing the specifics, you can help friends deal with temptation by demonstrating a life of others-orientedness, a life of living to serve others. Live that life, and bring your friends with you.
Want ideas? Check this: “49 Ways to Show Your Love for Jesus”
Step #6: Hang with ’em
This is an underrated tool. I know I at least am one who always wants to solve problems or give advice. I’m all about solutions. But how about just hanging together? Christians rub off on one another.
“As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” -Proverbs 27:17
The more you’re together, the less opportunity temptation has to creep in. And remember, friends accept friends before they accept advice.
So go hang out together. Even if you can’t meet in person, get involved with one another. Communication now is so easy it’s stupid to ignore it. Think email, facebook, twitter, your phone. Everything.
Step #7: Pray together
Finally, it is brutally difficult to be tempted when someone is praying. The only exception I can think of might be if the prayer turns instead into a cover for gossip or other unhealthy behavior.
But straight up, if the prayer is genuine, it’s nearly impossible to be tempted in the middle of it.
- Satan flees from prayer. He doesn’t want to involve himself in any conversation like that with God.
- Fleshly desires are broken during prayer. Yes, it can hurt, but God gives extra power to withstand during prayer.
Pray together, and encourage others to cultivate a lifestyle of continual prayer. Read “How to Increase Your Prayer Frequency” to learn some practical tips for this.
By now, if you’re following along with the applications, you might think, “Haven’t you gotten sidetracked, Marshall? What does prayer frequency have to do with overcoming temptation?”
That’s exactly what helping others overcome temptation is all about. It’s about focusing on Christ and by this example leading others to focus on Christ. After that, temptation is overwhelmed by Christ – and forgotten.
“Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” -2 Timothy 2:22
Serving Suggestions:
(1) I challenge you to initiate a plan to help others overcome temptation. Temptation is all around us, and it’s naive to think that others don’t struggle in some form or another. Be the one (this week, today) who starts helping others in this area.
(2) Do you have a story of how you’ve helped someone in this area? I’ve purposely left out any examples so you to help by including yours. Leave a comment with an experience you’ve had with this.