There’s certainly an overload of info about overcoming temptation. But it’s usually about overcoming temptation in your own life. What about an others-oriented approach?
What about helping someone else overcome temptation?
As this is a practical guide for serving others, I thought I’d tackle this subject from this different perspective. I also wanted to tackle it from this perspective because…
I have no idea how to do it.
Or very little. Or did have very little when I started investigating. For what it’s worth, as advice from a beginner but grounded in the Bible, it’s an area I’m currently trying to improve in my own life and in my own relationships with others.
Here’s what I’ve learned so far.
Step #1: Initiate help in this area
A huge problem in the area of temptation is that we don’t look out for one another. Yes, everyone has an individual responsibility to guard against temptation. But how much easier could you and I make it for others if we simply took time to care.
As one body of Christ, if one of us falls, we all fall – it’s reflected on the entire church. We ought then to actively seek out opportunities to help others guard against temptation, instead of waiting for others to come to us.
By then, it’s usually past the point of mere temptation.
Step #2: Realize it’s not even about overcoming evil
If you focus on overcoming badness, you’ll fail. Every time. Boycotting is NOT a good idea. The focus is all wrong.
For example, saying, “I won’t eat that doughnut, I won’t eat that doughnut, I won’t eat that doughnut,” over and over again isn’t an effective strategy for not eating that doughnut.
You can use countless tactics to combat temptation, and many of them work to a point: avoid certain stores, certain people, doing certain activities at certain times, and so on. These might work in the sort-run, but in the long-run, they fail because they miss the root of the problem.
Instead…
Step #3: Realize it’s about pursuing godliness
This is a powerful advantage when you’re the one initiating the help (as in Step #1). See, you can always help others pursue godliness, whether you know what temptations they’re dealing with or not. On the other hand, it’s awkward (and heaven forbid, revulsive) to assume someone needs help overcoming the temptation of, say, pornography.
So how do you help someone pursue godliness?
Step #4: Encourage others to pursue godliness
It’s amazing how much we already know. Sure, there are some new concepts we might not quite understand. But in general, most of us already know all we need to know about the Gospel.
The difficulty is in applying it. That’s where encouragement comes in. In short, you can encourage by…
- Reminding what God’s already done in this person’s life.
- Reminding what God’s already done in other people’s lives
- Reminding what God’s already done through Jesus
- [There are literally so many ways to encourage it's insane to try to explain here. A future post is coming. :>) ]
In very short, encouragement is simply about pointing to Jesus again and again and again and again – so much that the mind and heart completely fill with Jesus (and as a result the temptation is forgotten).
Step #5: Teach love (by living it)
Loving means committing to doing for others instead of yourself. Temptation is by nature a selfish sin (is that redundant – I mean, what sin isn’t?). By switching to loving others, temptation will disappears.
Again, without even knowing the specifics, you can help friends deal with temptation by demonstrating a life of others-orientedness, a life of living to serve others. Live that life, and bring your friends with you.
Want ideas? Check this: “49 Ways to Show Your Love for Jesus”
Step #6: Hang with ‘em
This is an underrated tool. I know I at least am one who always wants to solve problems or give advice. I’m all about solutions. But how about just hanging together? Christians rub off on one another.
“As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” -Proverbs 27:17
The more you’re together, the less opportunity temptation has to creep in. And remember, friends accept friends before they accept advice.
So go hang out together. Even if you can’t meet in person, get involved with one another. Communication now is so easy it’s stupid to ignore it. Think email, facebook, twitter, your phone. Everything.
Step #7: Pray together
Finally, it is brutally difficult to be tempted when someone is praying. The only exception I can think of might be if the prayer turns instead into a cover for gossip or other unhealthy behavior.
But straight up, if the prayer is genuine, it’s nearly impossible to be tempted in the middle of it.
- Satan flees from prayer. He doesn’t want to involve himself in any conversation like that with God.
- Fleshly desires are broken during prayer. Yes, it can hurt, but God gives extra power to withstand during prayer.
Pray together, and encourage others to cultivate a lifestyle of continual prayer. Read “How to Increase Your Prayer Frequency” to learn some practical tips for this.
By now, if you’re following along with the applications, you might think, “Haven’t you gotten sidetracked, Marshall? What does prayer frequency have to do with overcoming temptation?”
That’s exactly what helping others overcome temptation is all about. It’s about focusing on Christ and by this example leading others to focus on Christ. After that, temptation is overwhelmed by Christ – and forgotten.
“Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” -2 Timothy 2:22
Serving Suggestions:
(1) I challenge you to initiate a plan to help others overcome temptation. Temptation is all around us, and it’s naive to think that others don’t struggle in some form or another. Be the one (this week, today) who starts helping others in this area.
(2) Do you have a story of how you’ve helped someone in this area? I’ve purposely left out any examples so you to help by including yours. Leave a comment with an experience you’ve had with this.
Twitter Updates
Hey! (Ahem.)
Okay, so this article was excellent. Really excellent. Step #2 – so guilty!
I am huge on boycotting bad habits in my life. For instance, right now, I’m on a Twitter break. I’m a recovering Twitter addict — still feeling twinges of withdrawal. The problem? The reason for the boycott? I tweet too much. Does anyone NEED to know I burned the cookies — again? Nope. Do they NEED to know that I broke down and finally decided to take an aspirin for my awful headache? Nope!
I am not exactly the queen of moderation, so usually the total-boycott approach is the only saving grace I know. Otherwise, I try, but fail — every time. (And failing isn’t much fun.)
“These might work in the short-run, but in the long-run, they fail because they miss the root of the problem.”
Exactly. Because I won’t always be able to go cold-turkey when it comes to bad (or excessive) habits. So am I going to learn moderation the hard way — when things I truly value are hanging in the balance? Let’s hope not.
When I start tweeting again in 2010 (yeah, I stopped at 2009 tweets to give myself an extra reason to abstain from tweeting until the New Year) I’m going to try to limit myself to four tweets a day and work on the heart issue. (I.e., is my lack of self-control in letting Twitter dominate my life — truly pleasing to God? What else could I be doing during that time?)
Annnnd….we’ll see how it goes.
P.S. Keep up the nice work! I’m following your blog now.
Thanks for the awesome comment. I’m so encouraged by these comments that really apply what I’m talking about to a real life scenario. It just brings it all to life.
I almost just tweeted that I love getting answers to twitter questions via the blog. :>) But hey, that might go against the whole “trying to tweet less” idea. Now I’m feeling guilty. A couple weeks ago, I actually asked if I tweeted too much, and a couple people said I did. You know it’s going overboard when other people can see it. So yes, it’s something I’ve been working on also… just not to the same extreme as you.
Again, thanks for reading through this and following. I’ll try to keep things interesting and helpful and… well, everything else I can do for you.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
Marshall, this is outstanding. Straightforward, practical — and heartfelt.
Thank you much, Glynn. I’m so thankful I’m able to share and that it actually comes out as straightforward, practical, and heartfelt. There’s a Jupiter of difference between what I want to write and what readers actually get out of it. It’s an encouragement, though, to hear it’s helping others.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
Marshall I love this… there is so much information and such practical applications!
Earlier today I was wishing I had more answers to help out a friend, and after reading your ‘list’ I realize which things I’m good at and what I need to work harder on.
I think #7 is the one I really need to apply. Thanks for posting!
You’re welcome. Thank you for hosting the carnival. It’s pushing me to write about things I might not write about otherwise.
The prayer one is difficult for me too, especially initiating it before someone’s even asked for it. As much as I want to be a Christian, asking to pray for someone can seem so cliche Christian. That’s a problem, though, because it keeps our best stuff on reserve. God’s like, “No, come on – ask. Please. I want to talk to you.”
-Marshall Jones Jr.
Oh, I KNOW these steps. I KNOW them! I know them empirically and I know them philosophically.
But I keep getting tripped up on one of them. I get to step four and I think, “Oh, I couldn’t possibly do THAT! It’d be hypocritical, and I can’t be a hypocrite.”
And that, of course, keeps me from getting to step 5, and so on. Much easier to go back to step zero, screw up again, and restart the process.
:/
And so I’ll risk the hypocrisy just this once (since your post is giving me the freedom to do so) and just let everyone know: you don’t HAVE to sin. You are ALLOWED to say no. Even IF Calvin was right! Jesus STILL gives us the strength to resist temptations and evil desires.
Phew. Now I can go do #5 now. THANK YOU!
Jeff,
Your comment reminded me of 1 Corinthians 10:11…
“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”
Not only does God give us the strength to resist but keeps those temptation from us that we can’t resist.
Thank you for contributing to this post.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
I just loved this. So completely practical and useful. I love #3 and #4 especially…sometimes we forget that we already have a defense when faced with tempatation. Great post!
Joyce,
Thank you for your encouragement. I agree with you on loving #3 and #4, but I’m slightly biased. :>)
Thanks for reading and commenting.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
These were all great, but I especially love #6. I think we get hung up on the whole “not causing someone to stumble” thing that we use it as an excuse not to love people right where they are. When people feel love without judgement, it gives them freedom to allow Christ to do the redeeming work in their lives, which is His job, not ours.
Katdish,
Yes, it’s easy for me to start making excuses too. And I like what you said about allowing God to do the redeeming work, instead of trying to become everyone’s savior. We can (and should) only set the table and let God take care of the intimate romance.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
Very good. There is much out there to help us stumble. Focusing on supporting each other is a most excellent idea.
Thank you, Helen. It seems like everything out there can stumble us (or at least me). The company and support of friends, though, is stronger in overcoming temptation than careful habits (1 Corinthians 15:33).
I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment here.
-Marshall Jones Jr.