[Click here to watch if you're in RSS or email.]

Serving Suggestions:

(1) The example from the video: thank every single person who mentions you on Twitter. Same with Facebook and every other site you like.

(2) Thank people for doing things for you, even if you expect them to: like the man who sells you vegetables or the woman who babysits your kids. (It’s a little like creating a list of reasons other people can be thankful except that you share that list.)

(3) Thank people for doing things for other people, not just for doing things for you: like the guy who vacuums the church or the customer service lady who handles the crazy customer well.

(4) You can email people, call them, write them a Thank You note, speak with them in person… the channels are open if you are.

• Thankful for hands, eyebrows, things you’ve never lost
• The 7 benefits of serving others
• How to magnify someone’s kindness
• Permission to be hurt
• Permission to be grateful

Nothing wrong with happiness, but sometimes people just want someone to feel what they’re feeling, or at least try to sympathize with them. In this video, I talk about how God’s given us the permission to be hurt and how we can use that to serve others when they’re hurting too.

[Click here to watch if you're in RSS or email.]

Serving Suggestions:

(1) I mentioned sympathizing with your children when they get hurt instead of brushing it off, as though it’s not legit. I think that’s an excellent place to start, with your kids, your spouse, your family.

(2) From there, you can extend it to friends in the church. Ask them how they’re doing, really. And then really listen. Don’t immediately offer advice. Just be an encourager, literally one who “comes along side.” Make them feel comfortable opening up to you. (You can even open up yourself to move the conversation in that direction.)

(3) Finally, you can practice this with people outside the church. Try to affirm what they’re feeling. This doesn’t mean allowing them to complain, but it does mean recognizing that what they’re struggling with is real. Feel what they feel, and then you can both move forward together.

• 10 benefits of friendship
• C. S. Lewis was wrong – You need friends
• How To Make A Friend (In 10 Days) – Free eBook
• How to magnify someone’s kindness
• How to increase someone’s longsuffering (patience)

(Photo: hectorir)

In the middle of winter in the middle of the freeway, my car stalled.

Thankfully, I was on an overpass, right by an exit. Still, I had to walk a ways to the gas station, buy a can, fill it with gas, and then lug it back to my car, all while keeping my nose from breaking off in the cold.

That was the first time I ran out of gas… but also the last. So far, I’ve kept the lesson in mind.

Running out sucks, especially if you’re excited about where you’re going. Trouble is, we don’t always remember.

The same thing happens with serving. We’re going along great when, all of a sudden, we stall. Sometimes we crash and burn. Other times we bail out. Or want one.

You know the feeling? You’re like, “That’s it. I still love you, God, but I can’t keep giving, giving, giving.” I’ve even made threats: “God, if you make me continue like this, you’re going to lose me altogether.”

Funny, the threats never seem to worry Him. He never tells me to quit. Instead, He teaches me how to continue.

Why thankfulness is not enough

Thankfulness is a wonderful motivation, if not the only worthwhile motivation, for serving others. But it only gives you the motivation, not the material.

It’s the difference between wanting to give something and actually having something to give. Thankfulness can fuel the desire, but you still have to find something to give.

And after you give for a while, you might feel like you’re out of material to give away again. You start feeling a little dry. So the question is, how do you get more to give away? Where can you and I find that abundance?

The obvious but not always helpful answer

The Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit gives an endless supply of amazingness. He’s the real reason we can continue each day.

That’s not always helpful, though, because if you’re like me, you’re not exactly sure how to receive the Spirit and let Him work through your life. That’s why we need to understand the practical side of allowing the Spirit into our lives.

So in a way, even though this post in practical terms is about finding fuel to serve, in a general sense it’s about letting the Holy Spirit fill you and work through you.

Starting from an example

When I think of biblical examples of people being filled with the Holy Spirit, the first one that comes to mind is the classic in Acts 2.

“When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.” -Acts 2:1-4

That’s pretty freakin’ awesome, especially considering what happened afterward, Peter sharing the gospel and a few thousand people getting saved.

To understand how this came about, though, let’s move back a chapter to Jesus’s promise before He ascended into heaven. A bunch of His followers were hanging out with Him, wondering what would happen next. So Jesus told them:

“[Y]ou shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” -Acts 1:8

I love that. He didn’t tell them to do anything, just that they’d receive the Spirit automatically when God wanted them to.

So His followers just hung out together:

“These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication…” -Acts 1:14

They stayed in fellowship, in unity, and talked with God. In fact, if you go back to the beginning of chapter two, which I quoted already, you’ll notice that theme showing up again: followers hanging out together, in unity, in peace.

The secret to getting filled

Someone once said that the biggest secrets are the ones that are so obvious they’ve become secrets. This is one of those.

God is about grace, giving to people who don’t deserve it. So the secret to getting filled…

• …isn’t doing a bunch of good stuff for other people
• …isn’t showing God that you’re worthy of being filled with His Spirit

The secret to getting filled is being able to receive it.

And our ability to be filled with the Holy Spirit is directly proportional to our ability to jive with Christ and Christians, in one accord. I say “jive” because it’s more than just agreeing. We often say we agree with each other even when we’re really not feeling it. We’re not vibrating the same way. We’re not in harmony.

I think God often tries to fill us with His Spirit, but we reject Him because we’re not ready for the change. God’s trying to fill us, but our core belief system isn’t compatible with His gift. So the Spirit just waits, waits for us to trust God enough to let Him work through our lives.

How to prepare for the Spirit

Preparing for the Spirit simply means understanding and living within God’s nature, which includes understanding and living with others Christians, getting to know them, sacrificing our comfort for community.

In super practical terms, you can begin by…

• Reading the Bible
• Reading Christian authors
• Comparing notes
• Asking questions
• Praying for one another
• Praying with one another
• Eating meals with other believers
• Sharing your testimony
• Having them share theirs
• Opening up about your deepest, darkest secrets
• Listening to their fears
• Just sitting together in silence (it’s amazing how powerful this can be)

None of these alone can give the Spirit a magic pass into your life, but collectively they can help align your nature with God’s nature while connecting with the body of Christ.

The list could go on, but it all comes back to unity, abiding in who God is. When that happens, the Spirit’s like, “Okay, now you’re ready. You’re ready to trust me enough to let me direct your life. Now I can do my job.”

The peace of fullness

It’s tough to communicate this peace to someone who’s never experienced it. The best I can say is that when the Spirit works in your life, you feel unstoppable. And in a way, you are unstoppable because you’re functioning in alignment with God’s will.

You realize that things still might not turn out the way you plan, but you know if that happens, it’s not a problem. You’re doing what God says, so you can let Him deal with the consequences. He actually appreciates that.

The power of abundance

When the Spirit is directing your life and you’re in harmony with the body of Christ, you feel like you’ll never run out. You don’t have to worry about what you’ll say today or what you’ll give today or what you’ll do today.

You’ll just give what you get, and what you’ll get will be limitless.

Like over the past few weeks, I’ve felt a little dry. My tank was running out, my cup underflowing. I was drifting away from God’s nature. I was still serving, but I was falling out of alignment.

Thankfully, I started with prayer (sad to say, it’s often my last resort). I was like, “God, what’s up with this? It’s a new year and everything. I’m usually pumped right about now. Why’s it so hard this time?”

Even posting here. I had a bunch of decent ideas, but none that were inspiring me.

But then His answer came back:  ”Share what I’ve given you. That’s what you’re supposed to do. The life I give you is for other people too.”

As I’ve fellowshipped with other Christians, especially lately, I’ve tried to focus on sharing what I’m learning and learning what they’re sharing, joining together as one body.

That’s how this article came about. It’s what I’m learning. And look, I’m already over 1,500 words here. I don’t feel like I’m losing anything by giving this away. I don’t feel like I’m working or losing time or losing anything, really.

It seems ridiculous to even think that way, but that was the slump I had fallen into. I was serving from my own superficial skills, the ones I thought I’d conjured up.

Right now, though, I’m working from the blessings God’s poured into my life. They’re flowing through me. As a result, I feel like I’m getting more pumped the more I share.

That’s the power of abundance through the Holy Spirit.

Refueling by giving what you get

Most of us oscillate back and forth between growing and withering, at least slightly. I don’t think growth is something we perfect. I’m certainly not there. I might slip right after publishing this.

But we can still aim for fullness all the time.

My car ran out of gas because I pushed the limits of emptiness… and lost. I was cold and late, but overall it wasn’t a big deal.

Spiritually, though, it’s way serious. “Not empty” is not cool. It’s better to refuel before you need it, aiming to be completely full, overflowing, all the time.

You and I can do that by… well, not doing anything at first, just waiting and resting and submitting to what God wants to give us. And then when He gives us something – and He always does – we can share that. That way, no matter how much we give, we’ll never run out.

Because the life God gives is for other people too.

Give that. Refuel by learning and living and appreciating God’s nature, His personality. Then share those lessons.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Prepare yourself to receive the Spirit by aligning with God’s nature and making peace with the body of Christ.

(2) In practice, this means resting in who God is, studying how He thinks and acts and what He enjoys. The Holy Spirit loves to fill believers who are ready to trust God to direct their lives but also willing to wait for His leading.

(3) It also means seeking to understand your brothers and sisters in Christ, communicating with them even when it’s not comfortable. All together in one accord, moving in one direction, for the same reason… Christ.

• The 7 benefits of serving others
• 10 benefits of friendship
• C. S. Lewis was wrong – You need friends
• How to boost someone’s joy
• What do you say? Say, “Thank you.”

(Photo: Michael Hayman)

A couple months ago, a man received two hand transplants. Evidently, he’d been burned, but the doctors were able to successfully attach two new hands, only the third time in history. I heard about all this because I live in Louisville where the surgery took place.

What struck me, though, was how grateful this guy is. I’m not sure if he’s a Christian, but he sure seemed like it on TV. Perhaps everyone does after experiencing something like that.

This man was perfectly healthy before his accident, at least as far as hands go. But then he was burned. Then the transplants. Then the physical therapy. And now he’s slowly getting back to normal, though his hands will never be normal again.

So why’s he thankful?

I think this man is thankful because he lost so much and then was given so much. Getting new hands must have taken him from one of the lowest points in his life to one of the highest.

But consider you and I (I’m still assuming you have both of your hands). Objectively, you and I have more than this man has now. Our hands probably work better than his new ones ever will. But – I’ll just speak for myself here – I’m nowhere near as thankful for my hands as this transplant patient is.

As far as health goes, I’m better off than he is. As far as gratitude goes, I have a long way to go.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me, but I keep coming back to this guy’s story. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, but why does He have to take away first for us to notice Him giving anything? If He just gives, most of us never notice.

• I’m not thankful for my hands, not daily.
• I’m not thankful for the ability to walk, not when I’m freezing outside.
• I’m not thankful for simple things like clean water to drink and air to breathe.

Thankful for eyebrows

My dad and I talked about this one day on the way to a Bible study years ago. The sun blared at both of us as it set on the horizon. Thankfully, we both had eyebrows and eyelashes and eyelids. We both could squint to protect ourselves from blindness. We were even able to admire the beauty of it all as we talked and prayed before the study.

If you had asked me last week, I might have said I’d never forget that time with my dad and how since then I’ve been thankful for eyebrows.

But really, I forget, like everyone else… and I’m not that thankful, not daily anyway. I still need the reminders. I think most of us still do, even when we’ve experienced tragedies in our lives that we assume we’ll never forget.

I don’t think God burned that guy’s hands just so He could remind me to be thankful. Maybe He did it to remind the guy, but even that sounds callous. Regardless, God definitely took advantage of the situation to remind me. Because I have both my hands, but I’m not as thankful as I should be.

Is it too much of an assumption to say the same is true for you?

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Count your blessings, on paper. What are some things you’ve never lost but that you should be thankful for? Think of things you might consider essentials, things you’d have trouble doing without but that no doubt some people do do without.

(2) Share these things with someone else. Tell people why you’re thankful, not just the things you’re thankful for but also why you’re thankful for them. Seriously, no one cares if I’m thankful for my hands until I tell them the story of the guy who lost his.

• What do you say? Say, “Thank you.”
• The 7 benefits of serving others
• How to magnify someone’s kindness
• Permission to be hurt
• Permission to be grateful

(Photo: kretyen)

The service was over. I remember I played drums in the worship band that day. I don’t remember the sermon.

Everyone’s filing out the doors at the back of the sanctuary. Everyone’s cheerful. “I think we’re having lunch downstairs,” I hear someone say.

“Hey, Marshall, can I talk to you for a moment.” I turn to see an older friend of mine waiting beside the doorway. By older I just mean I was probably 16 and he was probably in his early 50′s.

“Sure,” I say, but I’m actually a little nervous. I grew up in the church, so I know these sit-down conversations can mean anything. I wasn’t sure I trusted this man.

He seemed nice enough but moody at times. He’d come to the church with his wife for about a year but then stopped. About a year and half later, he returned, but his wife had divorced him. Even before the divorce, though, he’d had issues. With depression. With society. Still, the divorce wasn’t doing him any favors.

He was a heavyset, balding man and embodied all the stereotypes that go along with that look.

“Marshall, I’ve been watching you,” he said. We both sat down in some chairs by the door as the last person left the sanctuary. He didn’t continue.

“Really?” I tried to sound interested. I didn’t know what else to do.

“Yes, I’ve watched you with your family,” he said. “I like that you respect your parents and care for your brothers. And the other kids here look up to you, you know.”

I’m not sure I did know, but I shock my head anyway. “Well, thank you.”

“I want you to know that I think your example makes a big difference for people. And, well, I admire that.”

We sat there together for a few moments and then probably grabbed lunch with everyone else afterward. But that’s about all I recall from the conversation.

Here’s what I’m getting at with this. I didn’t really respect this man. I called him my friend, but I didn’t want to be like him. He was kind of boring and frankly kind of slimy.

But here I am, years later, telling this story… simply because he took me aside and gave me a few words of encouragement. I didn’t care about his opinion, but his encouragement mattered to me.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Who do you know who sets a good example for others? Maybe it’s someone who gets a lot of attention already, or maybe it’s someone who generally goes unnoticed. Single that person out in your mind and single out why you admire that person’s example.

(2) Plan ahead. Will you see this person at work, at church, at a party this weekend? Plan to take that person aside and share, in just a few sentences, something you really admire about him or her. You can make a big difference with eye contact and a couple sentences.

• One cliche that can go a long, long way
• How To Make A Friend (In 10 Days) – Free eBook
• Where to serve
• What do you say? Say, “Thank you.”
• When to be happy, when to be sad

So yeah, I figured I’d share the reminder with you. Hopefully, you can take something away from it… if nothing else, you’ll get a glimpse into what my journal entries are like.

Some just assume we already know
Of the love that they feel
Some have a heartfelt emotion
But never the words to reveal

I think we all relate, so why are we afraid
To let our hearts convey what we’re feeling?
There is a world in need with hungry souls to feed
And love can intercede if we’re willing

-D. C. Talk, “Say The Words (Now)”

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Tell someone, “I love you.”

(2) Maybe tell someone you’ve never told before.

• How a slimy, bald man encouraged me
• How To Make A Friend (In 10 Days) – Free eBook
• What do you say? Say, “Thank you.”
• When to be happy, when to be sad
• Permission to be hurt

(Photo: Shermee)

What’s the big deal with getting everyone to serve others? Why not just have everyone serve themselves? After all, that would cut out the trouble of figuring out what other people want.

The fact of the matter is this: God works this way (He serves others), and He wants us to do the same. He’s set it up so serving others accomplishes almost everything He wants for us.

Here’s how. Here are the seven big benefits of serving others. (Watch for overlap. God loves overlap.)

1. Serving creates meaningful thankfulness

Serving is a way to give back that’s actually meaningful and shows we’re really thankful.

Jesus died so we could hang out with God. We say we’re thankful for that. We say it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us. But if that’s the case, shouldn’t our live be totally different? I mean, what would happen if someone gave you a new house or a million dollars? Wouldn’t your life change?

Serving others is the result of truly realizing what Jesus did for us. We actually want to tell everyone in the world about it, not just through what we say but also through what we do.

Serving others is the result of our insane thankfulness. That’s the motivation behind serving. That’s why we serve. Because serving gives us a way to live thankfulness.

2. Serving blesses the person you’re serving

Perhaps the most obvious of obvious benefits, serving others actually serves others. Who knew!

Serving makes the world a better place.

It’s the same reason so many world changers try to serve others too, or at least look like that’s what they’re doing. They know that pulling it off is world changing. Problem is, they don’t have the support to actually do it completely selflessly.

But we do. Or should.

3. Serving encourages other Christians

When other believers see you serving others, they get fired up. Don’t discount the power of peer pressure, or peer motivation.

“And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ…” -Ephesians 4:11-12

4. Serving non-Christians opens them to Christ

As far as practical benefits go, this is probably the biggest. Serving others includes sharing the gospel, but that’s not what it’s all about. Serving others, as you might have noticed from the articles around here, includes mundane stuff like taking pictures, playing cards, or baking cookies.

All those mundane things add up. And someday someone somewhere will notice and ask about it. And you’ll have opened someone to the gospel. How much is that worth?

By the way, check out this video with Lee Strobel sharing a practical example of this.

5. Serving glorifies God for other non-Christians

We can’t serve everyone. But almost everyone can see the example in the few people we can serve.

See, when Jesus came to earth, He tried to taught that we’re supposed to build our reputation around serving others, caring for people, and loving them.

“By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” -John 13:35

When we serve others, people notice. When they see us serving, they see part of God’s nature. They can still reject it, but it’s much harder to reject when they can see it at work, even if we’re not serving them directly.

6. Serving honors God

Even if no one else sees you, even if no one else cares, God sees and God cares. Yep, it’s cheesy and cliche, but that’s because we repeat it over and over again without really doing much about it.

“If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever…” -1 Peter 4:11

Serving is success whether anyone else cares or not.

7. Serving encourages yourself

Encouragement is amazing like this. When you encourage someone else, the encouragement comes back around to you. It’s a side effect, and it works two ways.

First, serving others often means learning amazing things and reminding others of these amazing things. But guess what? In the process, you remind yourself, which builds you up too.

For example, if you share the Bible to encourage someone else, you’ll find you’re building yourself up because you’re in the Bible also.

Second, the response from others is infectious. Of course, it won’t always be outstanding – sometimes, people won’t care. But when they do, you’ll know you contributed, through God’s grace, to their growth. And that is totally encouraging.

For example, when you help someone overcome a temptation, you also end up with even more motivation to flee that temptation because you see the amazing results in your friend, to say nothing of the accountability that’s built in.

It’s a big cycle.

• You’re encouraged, which means…
• You’ll want to serve even more, which means…
• You’ll get even more encouraged, which means…
• You’ll want to serve even more, which means…

Well, you get the idea. The process repeats over and over again. Like a body healing itself, it’s just the way it’s designed.

We serve because of what God’s done, and the more we serve, the more God does. That’s why serving others is so, so amazing.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Serve others. Get caught in the serving cycle where serving leads to more serving and more serving.

(2) What are some practical examples of how these benefits have worked out in your life? Pick one of these seven and share a personal story in the comments.

• Becoming child-like: How to play
• What do you say? Say, “Thank you.”
• Becoming child-like: How to forget worrying and live now
• How to refuel when serving sucks you dry
• Living for something greater than yourself

(Photo: D Sharon Pruitt)

Consider the most meaningful and fulfilling moments in your life. Do they have friendships running through them?

Through my life, every meaningful moment has been either a direct or indirect result of friendship.

I’ve told you that before, but I’d like to share why. This is a general list – I haven’t included specific examples of how each played out in my life. I hope this just gives you a glimpse into why I’m enthusiastic about making friends and developing deep connections with those around me… and why I encourage you to do the same.

1. Hanging out together

Studies show that hanging out with friends may reduce the risk of loneliness.

Sure, many prefer solitude over socializing, but no one prefers loneliness. You want to know and feel that others care about you. Friends care, but it all starts with hanging out, just being there.

How are you hanging out?

2. Learning to communicate

The more I hang out with friends, the easier it is for me to open up. In general, that’s probably true for you too. When you and I stop hanging out with others, we tend to retreat into our shells even more. We begin to forget the benefits of open communication and focus only on the fear.

Staying in near-constant contact, though, keeps us in practice.

How are you communicating?

3. Sharing ideas

Once the communication starts flowing, you end up trading ideas. Your friends can often tell you how reasonable your ideas are, or what you might need to do to rework them. That feedback then can help direct how you act on those ideas and how you set your goals. And your feedback can do the same for your friend.

How are you sharing ideas?

4. Building accountability

Ideas are worthless if you never act on them. One of the best ways to get that action going is to create goals around them and share those goals with your friends. Friends force you to actually work toward your goals.

That accountability only works, though, if you and your friend are willing to share with one another and call each other out when one’s going the wrong way. Otherwise, accountability is a charade.

How are you staying accountable?

5. Sharing stuff

Back when neighbors were neighbors, we used to share things… liberally. No one had a problem lending out a wheelbarrow. And perhaps more interestingly, no one had a problem asking to borrow that wheelbarrow either. Now, we know our neighbors enough to not trust them but not enough to trust them regardless.

When you and I build accountability back into our relationships, the opportunity to lend and give freely opens up, not because we have leverage to “get back” at our friends if they trash our stuff but because we care enough about them to share no matter what.

How are you sharing stuff?

6. Sharing friends

Some friends are wonderful just because of the other friends you make through them. Know what I mean?

On Facebook, I’ve set up lists to group my friends to keep up with them better. Most of the lists revolve around a location or organization, like church or college, but a couple of those groups center almost completely around a particular friend. After meeting that one person, I was exposed to all the others who eventually became my friends.

Not everyone can be that person, but most have at least a couple friends to share. Numbers aren’t as important as the deepness of the connections. I certainly love sharing friends (both on the giving and receiving end) better than sharing other stuff.

How are you sharing friends?

7. Learning new skills

As your connections grow, your friends will begin to teach you skills you never would have pursued or, in some cases, never even known about. One example that comes to mind for me is yo-yoing. A friend got into yo-yoing, so I followed along. The skills can be much more profound than yo-yoing, though.

How are you learning and teaching new skills?

8. Inspiring one another

Skills are tactics. They’re detailed, but usually fairly low-level actions. Inspiration is strategy. It changes how you live, not just how you act. Inspiration is where you go from learning yo-yo tricks to overhauling your career course to pursue professional entertainment.

Inspiration is hard to pinpoint, which is why we’re usually inspired by the lives of people we admire rather than their teachings. As friends influence one another through their specific ideas and skills, inspiration starts to form. We see the combination of all the details in a friend’s life and decide we want to imitate part of it. That’s when our overall, life strategies change.

How are being inspired… how are you inspiring?

9. Discipling one another

Inspiration only goes so far. From there we have to return to tactics, but this time we apply the tactics through a completely different lens. Once friends align at least some of their overall beliefs, they can feed off each other, teaching one another the details of life through a particular lens.

Christianity is a perfect example. When friends decide to submit to Christ’s leadership, they can share advice back and forth along their walk. I believe this is the most effective form of discipleship… the form Jesus commissioned.

How are you discipling?

10. Encouraging one another

For most of us, encouragement is what we need now. You and I don’t need new information – we need the courage to follow-through with what we already know. We need the courage to get back up after we fall down.

Friends give us that encouragement. Beyond simple companionship or instruction or inspiration, we need friends we relate to, care about, and as a result give us a reason to continue forward.

“Friendship is born in that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’ ” -C. S. Lewis

How are you encouraging?

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Go make a friend (in 10 days).

(2) Share some of the benefits of your friendships. Why do you make friends, or why do you keep developing them? Any personal examples?

• C. S. Lewis was wrong – You need friends
• Permission to be hurt
• How to refuel when serving sucks you dry
• The 7 benefits of serving others
• How To Make A Friend (In 10 Days) – Free eBook

(Photo: Karlina - Carla Sedini)

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” -C. S. Lewis

I liked that quote for the longest time. Actually, I still like it, but I think it only describes part of friendship.

Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, said this, and it’s recorded in the Bible:

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.”  -Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

So although C. S. Lewis was probably right that friendship is one of those things that gives value to survival, friendship is also crucial for survival.

When you’re alone and you fall down, no one’s around to catch you. But if you have even one friend when you fall, that one friend can help you back up. Or even if you both fall at the same time, each of you gives the other a reason to get up.

How many survival stories have you heard where friends continue hoping and struggling forward simply because they want to be there for each other? What about during those marathons when total strangers band together to run side by side, because without each other, they’d quit? Do people usually commit suicide together or in solitude?

See, that’s the survival value of friendships. I like that C. S. Lewis said friends give us a reason to survive, but without that reason, we usually wouldn’t survive.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) If you fell, can you name the person who would help you up? The more aware you are of your friendships, the easier it is to continue to grow them.

(2) Are you building friendships that are strong enough to help you survive? Are you building friendships that are strong enough to help your friends survive? Do something on purpose right now to start… or – if you’ve already started – do something to continue.

(3) Shameless plug… because I actually think it’s worth it: check out my ebook, How to Make a Friend (in 10 Days). It’ll give you some ideas to jump-start your friendships.

• 10 benefits of friendship
• Permission to be hurt
• How to refuel when serving sucks you dry
• The 7 benefits of serving others
• How To Make A Friend (In 10 Days) – Free eBook

I’m insanely excited to (finally) announce the release of my first ebook: How to Make a Friend (in 10 Days). Sign up below, and I’ll send you a copy right quick.

[Click through if you're in email or RSS.]

What? You didn’t already sign up?

All right, enough simply telling you what to do. I suspect some of you aren’t quite as trusting. So a little more info…

How to Make a Friend (in 10 Days) is definitely not for everyone. If you want nod-in-agreement quotes, check my Twitter stream. If you’re looking for more general content, subscribe to the blog. But if you want to challenge yourself to make a friend on purpose and are willing to put in a ton of effort for a week and a half, go ahead and grab the ebook.

Most of the content isn’t original. You’ve done all this before. The difference is that I’ve structured it into a 10-day process instead of the usual willy-nilly, accidental friending.

What you’ll get in How to Make a Friend (in 10 Days)

• My top 10, best practices for making friends quickly and on purpose
• A practical, step-by-literal-step pattern for applying those practices to make a friend in 10 days
• Word for word templates so you know exactly what to say (or at least have examples to experiment with)
• Daily checklists to keep you moving in the right direction
• Oh, okay… there might be a few of those inspirational quotes too (how could I resist?)
• Bonus: An additional “11th day” with tips on how to continue after the first 10 days
• EXTRA bonus: Access to the bondC newsletter with even more suggestions for making friends and serving others

Over the next week or so, I’m planning to post about friendship, its importance, and a couple tips that didn’t make it into the ebook. If you don’t think the course is for you, no worries… come on back throughout the week, and I’ll continue my usual posting.

For the rest of you, happy friending…

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Grab your copy of How to Make a Friend by filling in your contact info up top and then confirming that you want me to send it to you.

(2) Read it, live it.

(3) Give us a play by play here. I always appreciate your comments, but would especially like to hear your first impressions all the way through to how it works out for you.

(4) Finally, and I know it’s a stretch to have four Serving Suggestions… but if you enjoy the ebook and think others would benefit as well, share it. Thanks, and as the homeless say, “God bless.”

• When to be happy, when to be sad
• Permission to be hurt
• How a slimy, bald man encouraged me
• One cliche that can go a long, long way
• 10 benefits of friendship