Just watch it. Set aside 45 minutes, and watch it.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Use this as a model: for how to share your testimony, for how to live it in the first place.

(2) Today is the last day to contribute to Matt’s goal of raising $1,000,000. Spread the word, not with a mass email blast or anything but with personal requests. And lead by example. Give, even if it’s $5.

• Raising money, watering Africa, becoming last – with Matt Windley
• Floating $20: How to creep into communalism
• Where to serve
• Sharing the meaning of life – with Mikey Robinson
• What you can learn from my most popular picture on Facebook

See, I’ve loved charity: water since I first heard their story. But, you know, I got lazy and never really did anything to support them. Matt reminded me.

So anyway, I have some other projects planned in the future. For now, I wanted to support Matt with his ambitious goal of raising one-million dollars for clean water in Africa. And along with supporting him, I wanted to get his insight on managing a project like this. What works? What doesn’t?

I asked if he’d let me interview him, and he graciously agreed. So with that, I’ll let him explain what his project is all about.

(Photo: charity: water)

Marshall: So why charity: water? Of all the organizations asking for money, what particularly inspired you about them and their project?

Matt: First, I knew I wanted to do a clean water project. The most vulnerable among us are children, and they suffer the most. Of the 42,000 people who die each week from unclean water and unhygienic conditions, 90% are children. That statistic staggers me. As a parent, I can not imagine watching my child suffer from something as simple as not having clean water.

From there, I chose charity: water because of their innovation, their transparency, and their passion. Visit their website, and you quickly feel their passion for what they do. To top it all off, 100% of the donations given go directly toward clean water projects. They have private donors that fund other costs, so they truly use every last penny that people donate on projects. In that respect, they are truly unique in the non-profit world.

[For a more indepth answer, read Matt's post here.]

Marshall: You’ve shared about it on your blog, but what was the motivation for setting your goal at $1,000,000?

Matt: Hope. All along, I have known that $1,000,000 would take a movement to catch fire or a miracle to occur. I set the goal high because I did not want to get to $2,000 and be satisfied. I think we too easily become complacent with a little charity.

The fact is the Christian church has millions compiled in bank accounts around the world. The money is out there. The question is, “What will we use it on?” $1,000,000 was set as my way of recognizing we have the resources. I pray we hit that number. Maybe it’s unrealistic, but I felt like I wanted to put it out there because I know how much good that would do for those children who are suffering as we speak.

Marshall: So what was your planning process? What did you do ahead of time to prepare for the challenge?

Matt: I’ll be honest. It started practically spur of the moment. I’ve thought about doing something like this for awhile, but had never acted.

One day I just decided I was tired of waiting and thinking and never acting. I sent a few emails to some from blogging friends of mine, talked to my church, and got the ball rolling. I knew this would be a learning experience, but I was prepared to fail and make mistakes because I knew I’d learn and grow from them.

Honestly, my preparation for this was nothing to learn from. If anything I’d say, if you feel God calling you to do something, do it.

Marshall: You’re right on with that. I wish I followed that advice better. It’s awesome that you were able to jump into it like this. Now, what’s worked? For anyone else who wants to set up a my charity: water account, what has been the best way for you to spread the word and raise funds?

Matt: Three approaches have worked the best for me.

First, asking people to be involved in a smaller step (sharing on FB, blogging about it) gave people a chance to buy into the project. Those people were much more willing to give after they got involved in a smaller way.

Second, I am not the type to ask for money, but I quickly found out that good old fashioned asking was extremely effective. I just told people what I was doing and asked if they would share and/or give. Many times they did both.

Third, sharing your heart goes a long way. When people can tell you truly care about what you are doing, they are more receptive to giving.

Marshall: What would you do differently if you were going to do this again?

Matt: This was an intentionally spur of the moment fundraising adventure. That led to many moments of “if only I had thought of that earlier!” For example, local news would love a local story of people trying to raise money for charity. I missed out on getting some publicity there.

More planning would have helped. I think if I had a couple of months to rally some more people around helping, we could have launched larger and made more of an initial surge.

Marshall: Yeah, that’s a tough call. On one hand, you don’t want to delay because, like you said, it’s easy to lose the moment. On the other, some strategy, especially to get others involved, can go a long way.

What about charity: water itself? How could they make the my charity: water process easier for people giving or raising money?

Matt: I have two ideas I wish they could incorporate on their giving site.

First, if they could make it possible to grab a live update of the donation total and put it on a blog or Facebook page, that would be amazing.

Second, I wish there were more ways for donors to interact with the giving page itself. You can put comments when you give, but they are all the way down at the bottom. I would love to see a forum update gadget where people could share why they gave, encourage others to give, or just express excitement for what we’re doing.

Marshall: Okay, let’s switch gears a little: Your blog, “Becoming Last” – I’m a big fan of that title. Is there a story behind it? Why did you choose it?

Matt: For me, it’s the essence of a Christian’s life. For the first twenty some years of my life, I was a Christian, but rarely did the idea of laying down my life ever cross my mind. I began looking at most of the people around me, and it seemed like Christianity had become, “Be a nice person, don’t swear, do the church thing, and you’re good.”

I set out to read through the New Testament, and I could never escape this idea of Becoming Last.

Christianity boils down to putting God first and others second. Jesus said that. Becoming Last is about taking that call seriously.

First Corinthians 9:19 speaks volumes to me. Paul says, “For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them.” We are completely free, but because of Christ’s sacrifice we lay down our lives so that more people may know God and He would be glorified.

Marshall: That verse is a favorite of mine too, definitely part of the foundation for bondChristian. I think it’s fascinating to see how this verse plays out in different people’s live. Like for you, how would you say the charity: water challenge fits in with what you’re doing in general on Becoming Last?

Matt: It’s an opportunity for us to widen our view of ‘neighbor’. We are no longer ignorant of what happens around the world. For the church to sit idle, while 42,000 people die a week from something so preventable, is crazy.

It’s not as if we don’t know how to get them water, and it’s not as if we don’t have the money. We simply just haven’t done it.

I believe in missions, taking the name of Jesus to the nations, but why on earth would people listen to our message if we are indifferent to such suffering? This challenge is just a small way to make people aware that we have a responsibility to love the nations, that neighbor love doesn’t stop at our borders.

Becoming Last means to all, not to those whom we find convenient.

Marshall: I get pumped reading stuff like that. So how can we help on this project specifically?

Matt: Several ways. First, pray. I know people always say that, but it’s true.

I highly recommend the biography of George Muller. The man cared for thousands of orphans throughout his life. He never asked for a dime. When their was a need, he prayed and God provided. That is remarkable. I believe God hears the prayers of his people and I hope you’ll pray for our challenge and for those around the world without clean water.

Second, donate. Even if someone gave a $1 or $5, it helps. I’m asking for everyone to at least give something. I believe in the power of small donations. When people give and they share, those donations multiply exponentially together. So start small and if you can give more, that’s great too.

Finally, please share with your friends. Post it on Facebook, Twitter, or wherever. Highlight our opportunity to show the world that the church cares about the hurting and that even small donations matter.

Marshall: Awesome. Thanks so much for sharing with us.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Like Matt said, spread the word. If you have a blog, write about this. If you have a Facebook account, ask your friends to help you. Point them here.

(2) Buy drinks. Twenty dollars gives someone clean water, which is pretty much life-changing.

(3) Lastly, check out what Matt is doing over at Becoming Last. He has some fantastic insights and suggestions. Thank him for sharing.

• Floating $20: How to creep into communalism
• Where to serve
• What you can learn from my most popular picture on Facebook
• Others-oriented gratitude: Creating reasons for THEM to be thankful
• Teaching kids (and yourself) to share

“Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common, and sold their possessions and goods, and divided them among all, as anyone had need.” -Acts 2:44-45

(Photo: Sh4rp_i)

That sounds all neighborly and Christian and right… until we recognize the implications. If we take the early church as a model for Christian living, this means you and I are supposed to share everything.

• “All things in common”: All means all. Sharing all they had meant relying on each other for what they didn’t have, like money to pay bills and so on. It’s hard enough to give things away, harder still to have others do the same to provide for you.
• “Sold their possessions and goods”: They didn’t keep their old stuff and just shuffle it around. You take my TV – I’ll take your laptop. No, they turned it into cash so they could change their priorities entirely. They became liquid.
• “As anyone had need”: This wasn’t equality. They didn’t necessarily give everyone the same amount. I’m sure some got more, others less. They distributed as needed, not fairly.

What if we tried to do that today, not as a society or form of government but as Christians, voluntarily? How would it work? If at all?

At the very least, things would be really different, right? Most likely, crazy difficult.

Let’s not forget the overall implications, but for now, here’s a fairly painless way to ease into it, a way to get starting thinking and acting in these terms. (plus, a great way to initiate a Grandfather Effect too).

The floating $20-bill

The process is simple:

• First, identify someone who needs an extra $20
• Second,  find $20
• Third, put the money in an envelope and mark the envelop “Floating 20″
• Third, give the person the envelope
• Fourth, tell this person, “It’s not a loan. It’s a floating $20. When you can, pass it on to someone else who needs it.”

That’s the whole thing, and it’s amazingly effective. Until someone does this for you, you don’t really know what it’s like to be on the receiving end. Not only does it help you out, it’s also encouraging to think about passing it on later when you’re able to.

Floating other things

You can modify this a bit too. It doesn’t have to always be a floating $20. For instance…

• Floating food box: Put together a small assortment of foods, even just a loaf of bread or bag of veggies. Mark the box “Floating food.”
• Floating childcare/babysitting: Offer to watch a stressed parent’s kids for the evening. Extra bonus for printing out the offer on a slip of paper to look like a coupon.
• Floating bed: Let people stay the night at your place, free of charge, even if you don’t know them too well. Go the extra mile and tell everyone about your open house policy.

You get the idea. Come up with your own.

Oh, and not to imply anything in Scripture that isn’t there, but I haven’t even mentioned my favorite part about the passage in Acts 2, the result:

“And the Lord adding to the church daily those who were being saved.” -Acts 2:47

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Float $20.

(2) What other ideas do you have? I’d love to hear them in the comments.

• Raising money, watering Africa, becoming last – with Matt Windley
• Where to serve
• What you can learn from my most popular picture on Facebook
• Others-oriented gratitude: Creating reasons for THEM to be thankful
• Teaching kids (and yourself) to share

That’s an insane number. There’s no way it’s really they’re all Christians. You can tell by their fruit, by how they live. But still, 75% compared to other countries is phenomenal.

Can you guess where I’m going with this? In this video, I talk about the example Jesus set for us to follow, where we’re supposed to go, who we’re supposed to reach, and what we’re supposed to share. I also mention some big news for me personally, but I’ll let you watch to find out what that is.

[Click here to watch if you're in RSS or email.]

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Where do poor people gather in your town? What about the brokenhearted, the captives, the blind? Maybe it’s at the homeless shelter. Maybe an abortion clinic. Maybe on a certain street corner. Go there.

(2) Find someone who could be included in Jesus’s ministry list and then, as a super practical step, invite them to your house for dinner. Or bring food to them. Sit with them and get to know them. Ask them if they know Jesus or want to get to know Him.

(3) Repeat, trying to reach those who are even worse off than the first bunch. That’s where to serve.

• Raising money, watering Africa, becoming last – with Matt Windley
• Floating $20: How to creep into communalism
• What you can learn from my most popular picture on Facebook
• Others-oriented gratitude: Creating reasons for THEM to be thankful
• Teaching kids (and yourself) to share

In this video, I share something simple that I’ve been thinking about over the past few weeks. I think this gets to the heart of what it means to be a servant, not necessarily someone who does a bunch of crazy big stuff or gets a bunch of recognition.

[Click to watch if you're in RSS or email.]

Serving Suggestions:

(1) I’ve talked about taking pictures before. Have you taken advantage of any of that lately? I know I hadn’t for a while… until recently.

(2) What other little things can you do that could make a big difference? Here are some ideas that come to mind for me: buying someone lunch, doing their grocery shopping, complimenting them in front of someone they respect, babysitting their children for an evening. What else can you think of? More importantly, what else can you do?

• Others-oriented gratitude: Creating reasons for THEM to be thankful
• Raising money, watering Africa, becoming last – with Matt Windley
• Floating $20: How to creep into communalism
• Where to serve
• Give a man a fish (because examples might beat instruction)

(Photo: Kıvanç Niş)

Last week, I made a Thanksgiving shift. I shifted from thinking of thankfulness in terms of how I’m blessed to thinking of thankfulness in terms of how others are blessed. Call it others-oriented gratitude.

Once I realized it, I wondered how I’d missed it for so long.

After all, I try to be all about others-orientedness. I try to feel what others might feel. I try to align my feelings with theirs. It doesn’t always happen, but I thought I’d made more progress than I had. Clearly, I wasn’t as far along as I thought.

On top of that, it struck me that others-oriented gratitude totally aligns with God’s nature. I’d missed that too:

“Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’ ” -Matthew 25:37-40

Not only is God grateful when others are blessed, He’s also in the business of creating reasons for people to be grateful. What else do beautiful sunrises accomplish?

Realizing this was a big shift for me. I starting thinking that if you and I can be grateful when others are blessed, then we can (and should) also get on board with creating reasons for people to be grateful, you know, mirroring God’s nature.

That’s what I’ve been working on and what I’d like to share with you…

Step 1: Inspiring others to be thankful

When you and I reflect on things we’re thankful for, we can usually place them in one of four groups.

The first group is purely God-given: things like trees, fresh air, the ability to walk. We won’t talk much about that now because this post is all about how you can be part of the process. The next three groups, though, are groups where you and I can play a role in why someone is thankful.

Giving something amazing

• Selling someone a car for a dollar
• Paying someone’s tuition
• Buying someone cruise tickets

These are all examples of ways you and I can give amazing things. These stand out for people because they’re big and usually make a big difference in people’s lives.

Doing things unexpectedly

• Giving back a lost wallet (with all the money still in it)
• Sharing some garden vegetables with a neighbor
• Picking up the tab for lunch

Things in this group are both easier, because they cost less, and harder, because you can’t always plan for them.

Being someone close

• The grandma who always sends birthday cards
• The friend who calls right when someone needs a call
• The dad who takes his kids to the park… and actually plays with them there

These are the hardest to engineer. They’re more about who you are than what you do. But you can still make progress by, each day, doing little things that matter, things that bring you deep into the lives of the people around you.

Really, anytime you serve others, you’re giving them a reason to be thankful. But in practice, that doesn’t always work out. These three groups I’ve mentioned are, I think, the most notable ways you and I can impress thankfulness on other people’s lives.

But all of this is really only Step 1.

Step 2: Encouraging people to bless others

Often a partial measure of our success is how well it transfers to the next generation. Because you and I, individually, can only impact so many people. The real work happens when we’re able to inspire others on the same mission.

So that’s what Step 2 is really about. How? Well, as with everything, I think there are three ways to do this (and you and I should use all three):

• Pray: Get the Holy Spirit working, influencing lives.
• Live: Be an example of someone who blesses others.
• Tell: Share with people about what’s been done for you, what you’ve done, and – perhaps most importantly – what they can do to bless others.

When it comes down to it, all Christians are part of the same body. So it only makes sense that we should bless others and be overjoyed when they are blessed, for then the blessings are ours also.

And for that, you and I can be insanely thankful.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) How can you create a reason for someone to be thankful? Think of the three groups I mentioned: giving something amazing, doing something unexpectedly, and being someone close. Can you use one of those? It’s not that difficult. It’s just a matter of thinking in different terms and then setting aside your own desires for a few moments. Not hard at all, right?

(2) How can you encourage others to start thinking and acting this way? One way might be to acknowledge when people do things to bless others. Another way might be to create some accountability between you and a friend, keeping each other moving forward and blessing others. Again, it just takes a little thought and some personal sacrifice.

• What you can learn from my most popular picture on Facebook
• Raising money, watering Africa, becoming last – with Matt Windley
• Floating $20: How to creep into communalism
• Where to serve
• Becoming child-like: How to forget worrying and live now

Maybe it’s just me, but the kindness of my heart is pretty shallow, like kiddie pool shallow. I have to get some super creative inspiration to want to do it. Hopefully, this post will give you some of that…

(Photo: prakhar)

How to go the extra mile and show you really care

The formula is simple:

• Do something nice.
• Do something else on top of that niceness that makes it super, duper special.

So the formula for coming up with ideas is simple too. First, ask yourself how you’re nice to others. Once you’ve answered that, ask yourself how you could make what you already do even more special.

Alternatively, you could ask God these questions. He’s pretty good with this too.

Anyway, here are some examples I’ve come up with:

1. When everyone else is writing “Happy birthday” on a friend’s Facebook wall, send your friend a private message instead… perhaps with a Scripture verse too.

2. When you drop someone off after a ride in your car, get out and walk them to wherever they’re headed.

3. When you visit a friend’s house for dinner, followup with a hand-written Thank You note.

4. When you give someone a gift, wrap it – neatly – in wrapping paper instead of just plopping it in one of those gift bags.

5. When you send someone a greeting card, make it yourself and write your own personal message inside.

6. When you give someone a book, write a note on the inside cover.

7. When you give someone a picture, share on the back why you think it’s special.

8. When you’re out with friends at a restaurant, surprise everyone by buying them dessert.

9. When someone asks you for a loan, give them the money instead.

10. When someone asks you to pray for them during the week, pray with them right then too.

11. When friends offer to pay you to help them (like fix their car or watch their kids), help them but do it for free.

12. When people try to steal your work or credit for your work, make it all freely available for them to take and use however they want.

13. When you talk with a friend about a topic you know nothing about, research it afterward and then email what you learn to your friend.

14. When you meet new people, don’t just remember their names – remember their kids’ names too (write them down if you need to).

15. When you read a book or article you especially enjoy, send the author a personal email.

16. When you recommend friends on Twitter (like #followfriday), do it one at a time and explain a little about why you’re recommending each person.

17. When you volunteer for a project at your local church, recruit someone else for the project too, someone who’s not already involved.

18. When you schedule a time to meet, show up early to make sure everything is set up and ready to go for whatever you’re doing.

19. When you’re trying to start a conversation with a stranger, ask, “What do you do for fun?” instead of just, “What do you do?”

20. When you’re taking your garbage cans to the street for pickup, take out your neighbor’s while you’re at it.

21. When everyone’s funneling through a busy doorway, hold it open for the whole line of people.

22. When you leave a tip, leave a chocolate bar on top.

23. When you’re at the store, pick up a small plant to bring to work and put it somewhere public for everyone to enjoy.

24. When you offer your friend next to you a piece of gum, tell your friend to keep passing the pack down the row of seats for anyone who wants some.

25. When you’re out on the town taking pictures, offer to take strangers’ pictures and then email the pictures to them.

26. When you’re arranging a meal for your friends at your place, invite someone you’ve never had over.

27. When you’re grocery shopping for your family and find a deal that requires you to buy extra, buy it but give the extra to your neighbor.

28. When you’re recommending a friend to another friend, offer to set up lunch between the three of you… or even just the two of them.

29. When you’ve invited someone to a church service, talk with them afterward about everything that happened – don’t just leave them hanging.

30. When you take your kids to the park, climb up in the jungle gym with them.

Being nice doesn’t count as going the extra mile. It just counts as being nice. Going the extra miles means being nice and then doing something extra on top of it.

“And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away. You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies…” -Matthew 5:41-44

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Try some… no, to start with, try just one of these. Pick one, and do it today, like right now.

(2) What are some of your favorite examples of ways to go the extra mile? What do you like to do? Share in the comments.

• Is “ownership” keeping you from serving?
• Here’s a tip: Leave generous tips
• Start serving your specialty recipe (PLUS a quick idea to begin)
• How a night club promoter switched to water – with Scott Harrison
• Raising money, watering Africa, becoming last – with Matt Windley

(Photo: Kissimmee)

No doubt you’ve heard some variation of the common refrain, If I do it for them, they’ll never learn. We often throw in a reference to fishing too.

These “words of wisdom” seem to creep up all over the place: at work, at home, even at church. I know I’ve caught myself with the thought more and more lately.

• “If I take up the slack in their schedule, they’ll never learn consistency.”
• “If I correct all the grammar for them, they’ll never learn to write correctly.”
• “If I give a man a fish, he’ll never learn how to fish.”

This isn’t the case for everyone, but I’ve noticed for me it’s become nothing more than an excuse. It’s become my way of “helping” by not helping.

So I’m trying to build a habit of asking myself a simple question in these situations:

Is this for their benefit… or for mine?

Or to make the question sting even more:

Is this more for their benefit… or more for mine?

If that first one doesn’t nail me, the second one almost always does. Because 99% of the time when I use the “If I do it, they won’t learn” line of thinking, I’m more focused on me than them. I’ve rationalized it away, thinking that my help might cripple them, when really I just don’t want to help.

Do you all use the same excuse? If yes, is it an excuse for you, or are you legitimately helping when you stand aside?

The more I look at the life of Jesus, the more I realize how often He went ahead and did things for people instead of “teaching” them. Matthew 14:13-21 comes to mind. Really, He taught by example.

I’m thinking maybe you and I can adopt a similar approach. Maybe instead of thinking, If I do it, they won’t learn, we could shift to, I’ll do it so they’ll learn.

What are you thinking?

Serving Suggestions:

(1) As an experiment, why not try doing things for people, even if they should do them themselves. To me, it’s a little like giving away money – it’s freeing to know I’m going above and beyond. Try it, and maybe you’ll know what I mean.

(2) I’d love your thoughts on this. Teaching a man to fish is often an excuse for not giving him yours. But not always. So when’s the right time to let other people do things on their own instead of continuing to help them along? When should we instead live the example?

• What you can learn from my most popular picture on Facebook
• Others-oriented gratitude: Creating reasons for THEM to be thankful
• How a night club promoter switched to water – with Scott Harrison
• Raising money, watering Africa, becoming last – with Matt Windley
• Floating $20: How to creep into communalism

Let me know what you think.

[Click through to watch if you're in email or RSS.]

Takeaway:

1. Serving means that people will take advantage of you. Get over that.

2. People cross the line into “taking advantage of you” when you allow them to take from you. But instead of defending yourself, give your life away so no one can take anything from you. Remember, no one took Jesus’s life – He laid it down.

3. Don’t worry about whether or not people are taking advantage of you. Focus on whether or not what you’re doing is aligned with what God wants you to do. If it’s not aligning with what God wants, drop it. But if it is…

Serving Suggestions:

(1) As an experiment today, try to get someone to take advantage of your service and generosity on purpose.

(2) When you reach that point where you start to feel like they’re taking advantage of you, go a few steps further.

• Living for something greater than yourself
• What’s the hardest part of missionary life? Being forgotten?
• Spotting manipulation – 7 red flags
• Success = Submission
• Your objections to slavery (and my responses)

(Photo: D Sharon Pruitt)

Consider the most meaningful and fulfilling moments in your life. Do they have friendships running through them?

Through my life, every meaningful moment has been either a direct or indirect result of friendship.

I’ve told you that before, but I’d like to share why. This is a general list – I haven’t included specific examples of how each played out in my life. I hope this just gives you a glimpse into why I’m enthusiastic about making friends and developing deep connections with those around me… and why I encourage you to do the same.

1. Hanging out together

Studies show that hanging out with friends may reduce the risk of loneliness.

Sure, many prefer solitude over socializing, but no one prefers loneliness. You want to know and feel that others care about you. Friends care, but it all starts with hanging out, just being there.

How are you hanging out?

2. Learning to communicate

The more I hang out with friends, the easier it is for me to open up. In general, that’s probably true for you too. When you and I stop hanging out with others, we tend to retreat into our shells even more. We begin to forget the benefits of open communication and focus only on the fear.

Staying in near-constant contact, though, keeps us in practice.

How are you communicating?

3. Sharing ideas

Once the communication starts flowing, you end up trading ideas. Your friends can often tell you how reasonable your ideas are, or what you might need to do to rework them. That feedback then can help direct how you act on those ideas and how you set your goals. And your feedback can do the same for your friend.

How are you sharing ideas?

4. Building accountability

Ideas are worthless if you never act on them. One of the best ways to get that action going is to create goals around them and share those goals with your friends. Friends force you to actually work toward your goals.

That accountability only works, though, if you and your friend are willing to share with one another and call each other out when one’s going the wrong way. Otherwise, accountability is a charade.

How are you staying accountable?

5. Sharing stuff

Back when neighbors were neighbors, we used to share things… liberally. No one had a problem lending out a wheelbarrow. And perhaps more interestingly, no one had a problem asking to borrow that wheelbarrow either. Now, we know our neighbors enough to not trust them but not enough to trust them regardless.

When you and I build accountability back into our relationships, the opportunity to lend and give freely opens up, not because we have leverage to “get back” at our friends if they trash our stuff but because we care enough about them to share no matter what.

How are you sharing stuff?

6. Sharing friends

Some friends are wonderful just because of the other friends you make through them. Know what I mean?

On Facebook, I’ve set up lists to group my friends to keep up with them better. Most of the lists revolve around a location or organization, like church or college, but a couple of those groups center almost completely around a particular friend. After meeting that one person, I was exposed to all the others who eventually became my friends.

Not everyone can be that person, but most have at least a couple friends to share. Numbers aren’t as important as the deepness of the connections. I certainly love sharing friends (both on the giving and receiving end) better than sharing other stuff.

How are you sharing friends?

7. Learning new skills

As your connections grow, your friends will begin to teach you skills you never would have pursued or, in some cases, never even known about. One example that comes to mind for me is yo-yoing. A friend got into yo-yoing, so I followed along. The skills can be much more profound than yo-yoing, though.

How are you learning and teaching new skills?

8. Inspiring one another

Skills are tactics. They’re detailed, but usually fairly low-level actions. Inspiration is strategy. It changes how you live, not just how you act. Inspiration is where you go from learning yo-yo tricks to overhauling your career course to pursue professional entertainment.

Inspiration is hard to pinpoint, which is why we’re usually inspired by the lives of people we admire rather than their teachings. As friends influence one another through their specific ideas and skills, inspiration starts to form. We see the combination of all the details in a friend’s life and decide we want to imitate part of it. That’s when our overall, life strategies change.

How are being inspired… how are you inspiring?

9. Discipling one another

Inspiration only goes so far. From there we have to return to tactics, but this time we apply the tactics through a completely different lens. Once friends align at least some of their overall beliefs, they can feed off each other, teaching one another the details of life through a particular lens.

Christianity is a perfect example. When friends decide to submit to Christ’s leadership, they can share advice back and forth along their walk. I believe this is the most effective form of discipleship… the form Jesus commissioned.

How are you discipling?

10. Encouraging one another

For most of us, encouragement is what we need now. You and I don’t need new information – we need the courage to follow-through with what we already know. We need the courage to get back up after we fall down.

Friends give us that encouragement. Beyond simple companionship or instruction or inspiration, we need friends we relate to, care about, and as a result give us a reason to continue forward.

“Friendship is born in that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’ ” -C. S. Lewis

How are you encouraging?

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Go make a friend (in 10 days).

(2) Share some of the benefits of your friendships. Why do you make friends, or why do you keep developing them? Any personal examples?

• C. S. Lewis was wrong – You need friends
• Permission to be hurt
• How to refuel when serving sucks you dry
• The 7 benefits of serving others
• How To Make A Friend (In 10 Days) – Free eBook