See, I’ve loved charity: water since I first heard their story. But, you know, I got lazy and never really did anything to support them. Matt reminded me.

So anyway, I have some other projects planned in the future. For now, I wanted to support Matt with his ambitious goal of raising one-million dollars for clean water in Africa. And along with supporting him, I wanted to get his insight on managing a project like this. What works? What doesn’t?

I asked if he’d let me interview him, and he graciously agreed. So with that, I’ll let him explain what his project is all about.

(Photo: charity: water)

Marshall: So why charity: water? Of all the organizations asking for money, what particularly inspired you about them and their project?

Matt: First, I knew I wanted to do a clean water project. The most vulnerable among us are children, and they suffer the most. Of the 42,000 people who die each week from unclean water and unhygienic conditions, 90% are children. That statistic staggers me. As a parent, I can not imagine watching my child suffer from something as simple as not having clean water.

From there, I chose charity: water because of their innovation, their transparency, and their passion. Visit their website, and you quickly feel their passion for what they do. To top it all off, 100% of the donations given go directly toward clean water projects. They have private donors that fund other costs, so they truly use every last penny that people donate on projects. In that respect, they are truly unique in the non-profit world.

[For a more indepth answer, read Matt's post here.]

Marshall: You’ve shared about it on your blog, but what was the motivation for setting your goal at $1,000,000?

Matt: Hope. All along, I have known that $1,000,000 would take a movement to catch fire or a miracle to occur. I set the goal high because I did not want to get to $2,000 and be satisfied. I think we too easily become complacent with a little charity.

The fact is the Christian church has millions compiled in bank accounts around the world. The money is out there. The question is, “What will we use it on?” $1,000,000 was set as my way of recognizing we have the resources. I pray we hit that number. Maybe it’s unrealistic, but I felt like I wanted to put it out there because I know how much good that would do for those children who are suffering as we speak.

Marshall: So what was your planning process? What did you do ahead of time to prepare for the challenge?

Matt: I’ll be honest. It started practically spur of the moment. I’ve thought about doing something like this for awhile, but had never acted.

One day I just decided I was tired of waiting and thinking and never acting. I sent a few emails to some from blogging friends of mine, talked to my church, and got the ball rolling. I knew this would be a learning experience, but I was prepared to fail and make mistakes because I knew I’d learn and grow from them.

Honestly, my preparation for this was nothing to learn from. If anything I’d say, if you feel God calling you to do something, do it.

Marshall: You’re right on with that. I wish I followed that advice better. It’s awesome that you were able to jump into it like this. Now, what’s worked? For anyone else who wants to set up a my charity: water account, what has been the best way for you to spread the word and raise funds?

Matt: Three approaches have worked the best for me.

First, asking people to be involved in a smaller step (sharing on FB, blogging about it) gave people a chance to buy into the project. Those people were much more willing to give after they got involved in a smaller way.

Second, I am not the type to ask for money, but I quickly found out that good old fashioned asking was extremely effective. I just told people what I was doing and asked if they would share and/or give. Many times they did both.

Third, sharing your heart goes a long way. When people can tell you truly care about what you are doing, they are more receptive to giving.

Marshall: What would you do differently if you were going to do this again?

Matt: This was an intentionally spur of the moment fundraising adventure. That led to many moments of “if only I had thought of that earlier!” For example, local news would love a local story of people trying to raise money for charity. I missed out on getting some publicity there.

More planning would have helped. I think if I had a couple of months to rally some more people around helping, we could have launched larger and made more of an initial surge.

Marshall: Yeah, that’s a tough call. On one hand, you don’t want to delay because, like you said, it’s easy to lose the moment. On the other, some strategy, especially to get others involved, can go a long way.

What about charity: water itself? How could they make the my charity: water process easier for people giving or raising money?

Matt: I have two ideas I wish they could incorporate on their giving site.

First, if they could make it possible to grab a live update of the donation total and put it on a blog or Facebook page, that would be amazing.

Second, I wish there were more ways for donors to interact with the giving page itself. You can put comments when you give, but they are all the way down at the bottom. I would love to see a forum update gadget where people could share why they gave, encourage others to give, or just express excitement for what we’re doing.

Marshall: Okay, let’s switch gears a little: Your blog, “Becoming Last” – I’m a big fan of that title. Is there a story behind it? Why did you choose it?

Matt: For me, it’s the essence of a Christian’s life. For the first twenty some years of my life, I was a Christian, but rarely did the idea of laying down my life ever cross my mind. I began looking at most of the people around me, and it seemed like Christianity had become, “Be a nice person, don’t swear, do the church thing, and you’re good.”

I set out to read through the New Testament, and I could never escape this idea of Becoming Last.

Christianity boils down to putting God first and others second. Jesus said that. Becoming Last is about taking that call seriously.

First Corinthians 9:19 speaks volumes to me. Paul says, “For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them.” We are completely free, but because of Christ’s sacrifice we lay down our lives so that more people may know God and He would be glorified.

Marshall: That verse is a favorite of mine too, definitely part of the foundation for bondChristian. I think it’s fascinating to see how this verse plays out in different people’s live. Like for you, how would you say the charity: water challenge fits in with what you’re doing in general on Becoming Last?

Matt: It’s an opportunity for us to widen our view of ‘neighbor’. We are no longer ignorant of what happens around the world. For the church to sit idle, while 42,000 people die a week from something so preventable, is crazy.

It’s not as if we don’t know how to get them water, and it’s not as if we don’t have the money. We simply just haven’t done it.

I believe in missions, taking the name of Jesus to the nations, but why on earth would people listen to our message if we are indifferent to such suffering? This challenge is just a small way to make people aware that we have a responsibility to love the nations, that neighbor love doesn’t stop at our borders.

Becoming Last means to all, not to those whom we find convenient.

Marshall: I get pumped reading stuff like that. So how can we help on this project specifically?

Matt: Several ways. First, pray. I know people always say that, but it’s true.

I highly recommend the biography of George Muller. The man cared for thousands of orphans throughout his life. He never asked for a dime. When their was a need, he prayed and God provided. That is remarkable. I believe God hears the prayers of his people and I hope you’ll pray for our challenge and for those around the world without clean water.

Second, donate. Even if someone gave a $1 or $5, it helps. I’m asking for everyone to at least give something. I believe in the power of small donations. When people give and they share, those donations multiply exponentially together. So start small and if you can give more, that’s great too.

Finally, please share with your friends. Post it on Facebook, Twitter, or wherever. Highlight our opportunity to show the world that the church cares about the hurting and that even small donations matter.

Marshall: Awesome. Thanks so much for sharing with us.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Like Matt said, spread the word. If you have a blog, write about this. If you have a Facebook account, ask your friends to help you. Point them here.

(2) Buy drinks. Twenty dollars gives someone clean water, which is pretty much life-changing.

(3) Lastly, check out what Matt is doing over at Becoming Last. He has some fantastic insights and suggestions. Thank him for sharing.

• Floating $20: How to creep into communalism
• Where to serve
• What you can learn from my most popular picture on Facebook
• Others-oriented gratitude: Creating reasons for THEM to be thankful
• Teaching kids (and yourself) to share

“Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common, and sold their possessions and goods, and divided them among all, as anyone had need.” -Acts 2:44-45

(Photo: Sh4rp_i)

That sounds all neighborly and Christian and right… until we recognize the implications. If we take the early church as a model for Christian living, this means you and I are supposed to share everything.

• “All things in common”: All means all. Sharing all they had meant relying on each other for what they didn’t have, like money to pay bills and so on. It’s hard enough to give things away, harder still to have others do the same to provide for you.
• “Sold their possessions and goods”: They didn’t keep their old stuff and just shuffle it around. You take my TV – I’ll take your laptop. No, they turned it into cash so they could change their priorities entirely. They became liquid.
• “As anyone had need”: This wasn’t equality. They didn’t necessarily give everyone the same amount. I’m sure some got more, others less. They distributed as needed, not fairly.

What if we tried to do that today, not as a society or form of government but as Christians, voluntarily? How would it work? If at all?

At the very least, things would be really different, right? Most likely, crazy difficult.

Let’s not forget the overall implications, but for now, here’s a fairly painless way to ease into it, a way to get starting thinking and acting in these terms. (plus, a great way to initiate a Grandfather Effect too).

The floating $20-bill

The process is simple:

• First, identify someone who needs an extra $20
• Second,  find $20
• Third, put the money in an envelope and mark the envelop “Floating 20″
• Third, give the person the envelope
• Fourth, tell this person, “It’s not a loan. It’s a floating $20. When you can, pass it on to someone else who needs it.”

That’s the whole thing, and it’s amazingly effective. Until someone does this for you, you don’t really know what it’s like to be on the receiving end. Not only does it help you out, it’s also encouraging to think about passing it on later when you’re able to.

Floating other things

You can modify this a bit too. It doesn’t have to always be a floating $20. For instance…

• Floating food box: Put together a small assortment of foods, even just a loaf of bread or bag of veggies. Mark the box “Floating food.”
• Floating childcare/babysitting: Offer to watch a stressed parent’s kids for the evening. Extra bonus for printing out the offer on a slip of paper to look like a coupon.
• Floating bed: Let people stay the night at your place, free of charge, even if you don’t know them too well. Go the extra mile and tell everyone about your open house policy.

You get the idea. Come up with your own.

Oh, and not to imply anything in Scripture that isn’t there, but I haven’t even mentioned my favorite part about the passage in Acts 2, the result:

“And the Lord adding to the church daily those who were being saved.” -Acts 2:47

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Float $20.

(2) What other ideas do you have? I’d love to hear them in the comments.

• Raising money, watering Africa, becoming last – with Matt Windley
• Where to serve
• What you can learn from my most popular picture on Facebook
• Others-oriented gratitude: Creating reasons for THEM to be thankful
• Teaching kids (and yourself) to share

That’s an insane number. There’s no way it’s really they’re all Christians. You can tell by their fruit, by how they live. But still, 75% compared to other countries is phenomenal.

Can you guess where I’m going with this? In this video, I talk about the example Jesus set for us to follow, where we’re supposed to go, who we’re supposed to reach, and what we’re supposed to share. I also mention some big news for me personally, but I’ll let you watch to find out what that is.

[Click here to watch if you're in RSS or email.]

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Where do poor people gather in your town? What about the brokenhearted, the captives, the blind? Maybe it’s at the homeless shelter. Maybe an abortion clinic. Maybe on a certain street corner. Go there.

(2) Find someone who could be included in Jesus’s ministry list and then, as a super practical step, invite them to your house for dinner. Or bring food to them. Sit with them and get to know them. Ask them if they know Jesus or want to get to know Him.

(3) Repeat, trying to reach those who are even worse off than the first bunch. That’s where to serve.

• Raising money, watering Africa, becoming last – with Matt Windley
• Floating $20: How to creep into communalism
• What you can learn from my most popular picture on Facebook
• Others-oriented gratitude: Creating reasons for THEM to be thankful
• Teaching kids (and yourself) to share

In this video, I share something simple that I’ve been thinking about over the past few weeks. I think this gets to the heart of what it means to be a servant, not necessarily someone who does a bunch of crazy big stuff or gets a bunch of recognition.

[Click to watch if you're in RSS or email.]

Serving Suggestions:

(1) I’ve talked about taking pictures before. Have you taken advantage of any of that lately? I know I hadn’t for a while… until recently.

(2) What other little things can you do that could make a big difference? Here are some ideas that come to mind for me: buying someone lunch, doing their grocery shopping, complimenting them in front of someone they respect, babysitting their children for an evening. What else can you think of? More importantly, what else can you do?

• Others-oriented gratitude: Creating reasons for THEM to be thankful
• Raising money, watering Africa, becoming last – with Matt Windley
• Floating $20: How to creep into communalism
• Where to serve
• Give a man a fish (because examples might beat instruction)

Yes?

Then it’s time to branch out, start bearing some fruit.

The other day, I heard this guy [video] say, “Yo, in my Bible, the trees that bore no fruit and bad fruit were both cut down.” That really hit me. There’s no lukewarm. There’s hot or cold, fruit or no fruit.

(Photo: The Wolf)

So how can you and I begin to own up to God’s calling? ‘Cause it’s definitely not about listening to Sunday sermons forever. There’s more.

For instance, here are some ideas from my life and from some of my friends:

• Volunteering within your church: Can you be a greeter? How about a children’s ministry helper or teacher? Seriously, churches have no problem giving you stuff to do (assuming you’re faithful to actually do it).
• Starting a new ministry within your church: Like a group that gets together before services and prays. Or a cleaning ministry or a moving ministry. Look for needs and then find ways to meet those needs, instead of passing them on as suggestions for other leaders.
• Logging what you’re learning and sharing it: Start a blog or put together an email list or collect physical addresses for regular mail. And then share what you’re learning in your devotions each week.
• Door to door evangelism: Get groups of two together, spread out around a neighborhood, and start knocking on doors. Sometimes the best that comes of it is your connection with the people who go with you. That’s not a bad thing.
• Opening your home: Let everyone know you’re willing to host people at your place for an evening or even for a night. Post it on CouchSurfing.org too.
• Giving away your trade secrets: If you’re a musician, could you play some weddings for free? What if you’re a photographer? Or maybe you could teach a one-off class on business management or home birthing or home schooling, share some of the skills you’ve acquired over the past 20 years.
• Setting up a missions trip: And it doesn’t have to be to Kenya. You can set up a missions project to a city two cities away from where you live… or even stay in the same city.
• Supporting missionaries financially: Our money can go a long way in other countries. Let it.
• Moving to bless others: This might mean moving to another country to help missionaries, or it might mean moving to another city to be a missionary there. Most people don’t even factor this in as an option, but it seems pretty biblical to me. The early disciples were all over the place.
• Offering to share your testimony: Ask your church or other churches or youth camps or conferences and so on. If you start locally through people you know, it’s not that difficult to find a place.
• Keeping believers accountable: Set a weekly time to get together. Exchange phone numbers. You can even connect on Skype. Make a list of things you want to stay accountable for and run through them as often as you can. Give each other permission to let things get uncomfortable. <<This will take time.
• Mentoring someone: Like your kids, first off. Secondly, ask your friends and relatives to see if anyone wants to follow you around. Or you could set it up more like an accountability meeting except with more advice and living examples thrown in.
• Writing a book: It doesn’t have to be as overwhelming as it seems. Consider an ebook (read: PDF) or a small pamphlet you can staple together yourself. Some of my favorite books are only about 150 pages. You can even self-publish a longer work if you can’t get it published the traditional way.
• Leading a Bible study: You can do this in your home, in someone else’s home, at a park, at a university, in a prison, in a box, or with a fox. “Wherever two or three are gathered…”
• Starting a church: I guess I have a less traditional view on starting a church (or maybe it’s more traditional if you take it all the way back to Acts). I’m like get some people together for a Bible study. When that gets too big for a house, look into renting a building or community center. Pray like crazy. Read and meditate on the Bible daily. Pray some more. Worry about “formal education” later, or maybe at the same time.

You have tons of options, and these are only a few. I’m just trying to give you some ideas, get your sap flowing.

How can you stretch yourself? How can you go beyond what you’re comfortable with right now? Often, doing the things we don’t want to do is exactly what we’re supposed to do.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Make a plan. Within one month have one of these (or one of your own ideas) in motion. How will that happen?

(2) Take the first step right after making a rough plan. I mean like within half an hour of finishing this article. Maybe it means emailing that friend about starting an accountability group or calling your pastor to see about helping in the youth ministry. Whatever it is, take that action to get others in on the plan.

• How I wrote a recommendation letter – what would you add?
• How to “one-more” and take advantage of incremental growth
• Raising money, watering Africa, becoming last – with Matt Windley
• Floating $20: How to creep into communalism
• Where to serve

(Photo: Ana_Cotta)

Children have an amazing ability to anticipate.

They’ll count down to their birthday months ahead of time. Or from the backseat of the van, “Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” Or if you tell them you might bake some cookies, you sure better. They won’t let you forget.

With all that anticipation, though, they don’t really plan well. They get distracted by whatever’s happening at the moment. They forget where they’re going.

…because they love what’s happening now.

In fact, we often say that a person’s ability to persist through distractions is a measure of their maturity. The ability to focus on the future is what separates adults from kids.

I’d like to bring those back together, though, see if we can un-separate them. I love seeing anticipation in the eyes of little children. I’m thinking maybe you and I could copy some of that instead of planning so much.

On planning ahead

Remember when God provided for the (ahem) children of Israel in the desert by sending them manna? God sent flakes of bread from the sky each morning with instructions for everyone to collect enough for one day only. Some of the people of course disobeyed and learned the hard way that manna spoils overnight.

What’s up with that?

I mean, why did God send them bread that would spoil so quickly? Surely He could have sent something that lasted at least a few days, right? Like on Fridays, right before the Sabbath day of rest, God told them to gather enough for two days, and – what do you know! – the manna didn’t spoil then.

No, God knew what He was doing. The manna spoiled on purpose. God wanted the Israelites to learn to trust Him each day, a lesson Jesus echoed hundreds of years later:

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” -Matthew 6:34

What a liberating lesson! And Jesus did more than preach it…

• When children wanted to climb onto Jesus’s lap, the disciples told them to scram. Why don’t we let Jesus rest so He can share more later? But Jesus wasn’t about that.
• When Mary wanted to sit and listen to Jesus, Martha wanted to hurry about, preparing the meal. Why don’t we cook now so the food will be ready in time? Jesus wasn’t about that at all.
• When the woman wanted to dump expensive oil all over Jesus’s feet, everyone wanted her to save it. Why don’t we sell it and give the profit to the poor? Jesus wasn’t about that either.

It’s not that Jesus hated planning. It’s that He loved being present. He wanted to interact with whatever was happening at the moment. Plans can wait. Now can’t.

Jesus enjoyed now. He wasn’t worried about later. Just like a child.

We’re not like that, not usually.

Why we worry

Worry is a result of uncertainty, bad uncertainty. Like those scary movies. The scary parts are when you don’t know what’s going to happen, the suspense, little Miss Whoever in the dark hallway. We get anxious when there’s a chance it could be bad.

That’s what the future is: uncertainty, a type of suspense. When we look into the future, or try to, we end up worrying because it’s unknown to us.

We think we’re being cautious. We think we’re being responsible. But it’s mostly a disguise for our desire to control things. Why do you plan ahead? Why do you prepare? Why do you worry? Isn’t it so you can control the outcome?

Kids know they can’t do much about what happens next. Their parents will feed them, clothe them, and probably even tuck them into bed. Children, young ones anyway, accept that.

As we get older, though, we don’t accept what happens. We want to control it. That’s how the worry creeps in. Because a) we’re not trusting God, and b) we’re not appreciating what we have.

How to stop worrying

The simple answer is to start living now. Children get that. Problem is, you and I don’t know how to live now. Try it even for a second – you’ll see what I mean.

• Take a moment to try to think of nothing else except what you’re feeling right now. How does it feel to sit where you’re sitting? Where are your hands resting? What happens if you close your eyes? What do you hear?
• Don’t let your thoughts wonder to any other part of the day: not the past, not the future.
• Don’t let your thoughts wonder to any other place either. Sometimes, instead of thinking about what did or will happen, your mind will try to think about what’s currently happening somewhere else. Are those cookies burning?

Frankly, the first thing that comes to mind when I try this is some Tibetan monk on a mat in front of a window, meditating. I think, I can’t do this. This isn’t me. I’m not even a Buddhist.

In other words, just focusing hard enough doesn’t it do it for me. Instead, I dig the Philippians 4:6 Approach…

The Philippians 4:6 Approach to anxiety

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God…” -Philippians 4:6

Let’s break this down:

• “Be anxious for nothing”: In case it wasn’t clear enough, it’s spelled out here. How much is nothing?
• “But in everything by prayer and supplication”: God wants us talking with Him, constantly. When we’re aligned with His personality, we can’t worry… because He doesn’t. The more we understand Him, the more we trust Him.
• “With thanksgiving”: Talk about being present. Instead of thinking ahead or even looking back, consider what you’re grateful for right now. What can you appreciate?
• “Let your requests be made known to God”: With that mindset of appreciation and desire for communication, tell God what you want.

And look at the promise:

“…and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 4:7

The Bible doesn’t say God will give us what we want, but it does say He’ll give us the peace we need.

That’s why we can have child-like anticipation. The God of the universe, the God who got Himself killed for you, is certainly going to take care of your tomorrow.

“Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” -Matthew 5:26

So don’t worry about tomorrow. Don’t be anxious about the future. Be ridiculously thankful. Appreciate everything. Enjoy now.

Like children.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Value what’s happening now more than what’s happening later. The opportunities to put this into practice are almost endless. For example, when you’re talking with someone, listen to what they’re saying instead of planning how you’ll respond. Or if someone asks you to do something for them, do it now instead of continuing with your pre-made agenda.

(2) How do you value what’s happening now? By being thankful. I linked to a post about this up above, but in case you didn’t check it out, here it is again. Start appreciating things.

(2) Some things that grab your attention are distractions. That’s what worries everyone about “not planning.” Don’t confuse those distractions, though, with what’s important. You’re not preparing as much, but that’s not so you can waste time on trivial stuff. Do what’s important for right now… right now. Just spend less time planning it.

• Becoming child-like: How to play
• Others-oriented gratitude: Creating reasons for THEM to be thankful
• The 7 benefits of serving others
• Unbelievably blessed and how to share it
• “Everyone’s bad”: A guide to optimism

As you’ll remember, off-season serving is serving when others least expect it. I think it’s one of the best ways to serve others because you get the most effect for the effort you put in.

For example, when you give someone a gift in the middle of summer for no reason, they’ll remember it and appreciate it more than if you give them the same gift around Christmas time. One seems like you genuinely care – the other can sometimes feel like an obligation.

Off-duty serving is the opposite.

(Photo: Nomadiq Miles)

Off-duty serving defined

Off-duty serving is serving when you least expect it.

I think this is one of the hardest types of serving. But it can be one of the most genuine if you’re able to pull it off. People don’t always appreciate it as much as off-season serving, but God might appreciate it even more.

For me, off-duty serving might mean serving on a Monday. Monday is usually my day off. The weekend church services are over, and it’s time to settle back into a routine to build back up for the coming weekend. So a giant, “let’s fold clothes for the homeless shelter” experience is probably not what I’m wanting to do.

Another hard one for me is at night. After a long day, I want to settle in, maybe read a book, do some writing, or catch a movie with friends. But then I get a phone call. Evidently someone’s car broke down on the other side of town. So I have to get in the car, find them, drop them off somewhere, and then drive home. There goes my evening, maybe even my night’s sleep.

Those are the hard ones, especially if they come after I’ve already had a full day, which is most days. I’m like, “God, come on. I’m off duty here. Can’t I even get the rest I deserve?”

But that’s what off-duty serving is all about. It’s serving when you think you should be having fun, serving when you think you should be self-centered.

Yours might happen on different occasions than mine. Maybe you want to enjoy a game night with the family, but they end up choosing a game you hate. Or you spend money on a meal you don’t like because you were invited to the restaurant but no one was paying for it. Even attending a Bible study when you’d rather not… that can be a form of off-duty serving.

They’re usually not big enough annoyances to guard against, but they wear you down because they come up all the time. Only someone with a genuine heart for serving others can serve in these situations.

That’s the problem, but that’s also the challenge.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Identify five different situations from the past week where you could have done some off-duty serving. To find these situations, think about when you’ve felt off duty. There’s almost always an opportunity.

(2) In those situations, what could you have done differently? How could you have served others instead of taking a break? Sometimes it’s as simple as letting someone else in line first. Sometimes it’s as complicated as taking half a day off from work to help a friend fix her car. Either way, it’s never easy. But it’s what bondChristians do.

• Raising money, watering Africa, becoming last – with Matt Windley
• Floating $20: How to creep into communalism
• Where to serve
• What you can learn from my most popular picture on Facebook
• 15 ministry ideas to get your brain going

(Photo: Jenny Downing)

My parents are out on an anniversary date.

They’d chosen what they thought was a fairly nice restaurant, at least by middle-class, Louisville, Kentucky standards. My dad probably wanted a blackened steak, my mom her classic salmon, and they’d enjoy the evening chatting together.

So they’re seated at a booth in the corner, and the waitress asks if she could bring them a Merlot. Everything’s clicking so far.

A couple minutes later, as my parents sit there talking, the waitress returns. She asks for their dinner order this time. My parents give it, and then…

And then things start to change. Instead of telling the chef what my parents want, the waitress hangs around. She asks how long my parents have been married, then about their kids, then even starts rambling on about her own kids.

Okay, this is getting insane. My dad’s a pastor, so he and my mom are pretty much required by the Law of Moses to enjoy people. Still, it’s their anniversary. My parents want to be alone, at least for one evening out of the year.

But the waitress keeps chatting, at one point even pulling up a chair from another table. She’s trying to help… but not.

Moral of the story

How often do you and I do what this waitress did? Instead of simply setting up the banquet and letting God take care of the romance, we try to sit in, helping God along. Hello, Church of the Third Wheel.

It comes down to this: our job is to serve. Our job is to prepare the way for the Lord, and let Him take it from there. He must increase, but you and I must decrease.

Overall, my parents still enjoyed a wonderful evening together – they’re cool like that. But other than giving my parents a great story to tell afterward, the waitress didn’t add to their experience.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Where’s the focus? Sometimes, it’s hard to see how we’re getting in the way, because we feel like we’re helping. But by taking a moment to consider where we’re pointing, you and I can choose to serve instead of suck the attention.

(2) Check your own life and your own ministries, the ways you serve God. Is the focus on you and your ministry or on God? Taking that even further, is the focus on God’s principles or on His personality? Because our job is to reveal God and His personality, who He is. That’s what people fall in love with, not the extras we bring to the table.

• Raising money, watering Africa, becoming last – with Matt Windley
• Floating $20: How to creep into communalism
• Where to serve
• What you can learn from my most popular picture on Facebook
• 15 ministry ideas to get your brain going

(Photo: Kıvanç Niş)

Last week, I made a Thanksgiving shift. I shifted from thinking of thankfulness in terms of how I’m blessed to thinking of thankfulness in terms of how others are blessed. Call it others-oriented gratitude.

Once I realized it, I wondered how I’d missed it for so long.

After all, I try to be all about others-orientedness. I try to feel what others might feel. I try to align my feelings with theirs. It doesn’t always happen, but I thought I’d made more progress than I had. Clearly, I wasn’t as far along as I thought.

On top of that, it struck me that others-oriented gratitude totally aligns with God’s nature. I’d missed that too:

“Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’ ” -Matthew 25:37-40

Not only is God grateful when others are blessed, He’s also in the business of creating reasons for people to be grateful. What else do beautiful sunrises accomplish?

Realizing this was a big shift for me. I starting thinking that if you and I can be grateful when others are blessed, then we can (and should) also get on board with creating reasons for people to be grateful, you know, mirroring God’s nature.

That’s what I’ve been working on and what I’d like to share with you…

Step 1: Inspiring others to be thankful

When you and I reflect on things we’re thankful for, we can usually place them in one of four groups.

The first group is purely God-given: things like trees, fresh air, the ability to walk. We won’t talk much about that now because this post is all about how you can be part of the process. The next three groups, though, are groups where you and I can play a role in why someone is thankful.

Giving something amazing

• Selling someone a car for a dollar
• Paying someone’s tuition
• Buying someone cruise tickets

These are all examples of ways you and I can give amazing things. These stand out for people because they’re big and usually make a big difference in people’s lives.

Doing things unexpectedly

• Giving back a lost wallet (with all the money still in it)
• Sharing some garden vegetables with a neighbor
• Picking up the tab for lunch

Things in this group are both easier, because they cost less, and harder, because you can’t always plan for them.

Being someone close

• The grandma who always sends birthday cards
• The friend who calls right when someone needs a call
• The dad who takes his kids to the park… and actually plays with them there

These are the hardest to engineer. They’re more about who you are than what you do. But you can still make progress by, each day, doing little things that matter, things that bring you deep into the lives of the people around you.

Really, anytime you serve others, you’re giving them a reason to be thankful. But in practice, that doesn’t always work out. These three groups I’ve mentioned are, I think, the most notable ways you and I can impress thankfulness on other people’s lives.

But all of this is really only Step 1.

Step 2: Encouraging people to bless others

Often a partial measure of our success is how well it transfers to the next generation. Because you and I, individually, can only impact so many people. The real work happens when we’re able to inspire others on the same mission.

So that’s what Step 2 is really about. How? Well, as with everything, I think there are three ways to do this (and you and I should use all three):

• Pray: Get the Holy Spirit working, influencing lives.
• Live: Be an example of someone who blesses others.
• Tell: Share with people about what’s been done for you, what you’ve done, and – perhaps most importantly – what they can do to bless others.

When it comes down to it, all Christians are part of the same body. So it only makes sense that we should bless others and be overjoyed when they are blessed, for then the blessings are ours also.

And for that, you and I can be insanely thankful.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) How can you create a reason for someone to be thankful? Think of the three groups I mentioned: giving something amazing, doing something unexpectedly, and being someone close. Can you use one of those? It’s not that difficult. It’s just a matter of thinking in different terms and then setting aside your own desires for a few moments. Not hard at all, right?

(2) How can you encourage others to start thinking and acting this way? One way might be to acknowledge when people do things to bless others. Another way might be to create some accountability between you and a friend, keeping each other moving forward and blessing others. Again, it just takes a little thought and some personal sacrifice.

• What you can learn from my most popular picture on Facebook
• Raising money, watering Africa, becoming last – with Matt Windley
• Floating $20: How to creep into communalism
• Where to serve
• Becoming child-like: How to forget worrying and live now

(Photo: Irargerich)

Corporate greed gets a bum rap, I think. I mean, what is corporate greed anyway? Isn’t it just human greed multiplied by influence?

Whatever, this post isn’t about corporate greed or even human greed. It’s about what you and I can take from business once we strip away the greediness. Because, after all, I think commerce is like many other things in life: it’s not really bad in and of itself – it’s how we use it.

So how can we use it the right way and learn from it?

1. Serving others is a privilege

The best companies understand that their customers are totally important. Even companies like Apple or even Ferrari, companies that could probably afford to lose you as a customer, treat you like you’re all that matters.

Serving is part of their culture, and that’s why they’re the best.

2. The sales team is the face

Consider Wal-Mart. To me, Wal-Mart isn’t Sam Walton or whoever it is who’s running the company now. Wal-Mart is the elderly gentleman who gives out stickers at the store entrance or the cashier who makes minimum wage bagging my merchandise.

In other words, it doesn’t really matter what happens in the preparation halls. The only thing the outsider knows is the front line.

3. Winners create real value – they don’t just shuffle it around

“If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.” -Henry Ford

Some people use that quote as an excuse to go with what they think will work regardless of what other people seem to want. I don’t think that’s what Henry Ford really meant.

I think he meant you can’t always outdo other people by stealing from them. Often, a better strategy is to invent a whole new space to fill a whole different need.

5. Customer service is a chance to shine

A few weeks ago, I began shifting all my journaling online. To do that, I’m using a site called Penzu, and naturally I blogged about it on my personal site. And I might have tweeted something out about it too.

Anyway, shortly after that, I think within a day or so, the Penzu team contacted me. They thanked me for talking about their product and eventually even gave me some special offers.

I can appreciate free stuff as much as anyone, but what really stood out was that Penzu took the time to contact me personally. That means a lot because it means they went above and beyond what the transaction required. And now look: I’m writing about them on a completely unrelated blog.

6. Good marketing shares an experience before anyone buys in

Like Penzu, lots of web based companies let you try out a free version of their product. Companies like Facebook rely exclusively on that model for the majority of their users. Street vendors, especially if they’re selling food, offer samples to anyone who’s passing by and willing to give them a try. Car lots let you test drive their cars, movies flash previews months in advance, and even the cheesy weight-loss programs give you those before and after shots.

In each case and many others, the marketing draws you in by helping you experience the products for free. And yeah, that’s exactly what testimonies do… ’cause Jesus seemed to like the free model.

7. If people love you, you can make a lot of mistakes

I mean that in a good way.

If you’re just “okay,” then everyone will abandon you when you mess up. But if you build deep relationships, if people actually care about you and what you’re offering, then you can take more chances. Because then, even if you mess up, people will forgive you. They’ll know you’re doing it for the right reasons.

8. Success is built on thousands of tiny imitations

Avinash Kaushik, a guy who’s obsessed with measuring website stats, offered an interesting twist to a common suggestion. Most people suggest that you sit down someone who’s never tried your website and then watch them as they navigate around it for the first time. Avinash, though, said to run through this process but do it on some other top site in the industry, see what they’re doing right.

That’s a specific example, but over and over again, I hear that the best business people love to swipe ideas from other people, other businesses, and even other industries to rework into their own projects.

It’s kind of like how I reworked these business principles into this post on serving others.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) There’s an important lesson to take from each of these eight points. I’d suggest picking just one that really stands out to you and then seeing how you can apply it in you life today. For example, how can you offer amazing customer service for people who are interested in learning about Jesus, or how can you take lessons from some other area of your life and fit them into serving others?

(2) And of course a question for the comments: what other lessons can we take from business? I’m sure there are many others…

• Raising money, watering Africa, becoming last – with Matt Windley
• Floating $20: How to creep into communalism
• Where to serve
• What you can learn from my most popular picture on Facebook
• 15 ministry ideas to get your brain going