Source: 1Happysnapper

The Others-oriented fruit of the Spirit series is the longest series I’ve published here so far. It’s taken us from love to self-control, meeting all the funness like longsuffering along the way.

In general, the series was about shifting from receiving the
Spirit only for ourselves to promoting the Spirit and its fruit in others. It’s one of those needs we all have but don’t always realize. And certainly, at least in my case, rarely share.

I appreciate everyone who’s followed along. I hope you’ve enjoyed it and are able to spread the Spirit to others.

To make it easier, here are the links to the entire series all in one place.

The complete, Others-oriented fruit of the Spirit series

-Others-oriented fruit of the Spirit

Synopsis: The introduction tells what the others-oriented version of the fruit of the Spirit is about. It’s all about helping others develop the fruit of the Spirit in their lives instead of just in yours. (But I just said that here, didn’t I?)

-How to start someone’s love

Synopsis: How do you start someone’s love? You love them… in a practical, obvious way. It’s important here to focus on showing love that doesn’t require response.

-How to boost someone’s joy

Synopsis: Joy comes from taking our focus off the individual difficulties that are in front of us and focusing instead on the overall abundance God’s given us. When you and I help others realize their purpose and meaningfulness through Christ’s sacrifice, their natural response is joy.

-How to guard someone’s peace

Synopsis: Peace is calm through turmoil, not absence of turmoil. Guarding peace is preventative – it prevents problems before they occur. You can guard others’ peace by reminding of the protection God’s already given.

-How to increase someone’s longsuffering (patience)

Synopsis: Patience is what we want when longsuffering is what we feel. As with peace, longsuffering means enduring through the trials. So we can help others by enduring alongside them, not necessarily trying to take away the difficulties.

-How to magnify someone’s kindness

Synopsis: Kindness is subtle, so it’s often missed. Don’t miss it. You and I can magnify it by looking for the kindness in others and showing thankfulness for it.

-How to expose someone’s goodness

Synopsis: Goodness is tied to what God’s done, not what any specific person’s done. Exposing someone’s goodness is about bringing them back to what Christ did on the cross so we can all be amazing.

-How to appreciate someone’s faithfulness

Synopsis: Leaders the world over want faithfulness in their followers, but often, at least for myself, I don’t truly appreciate those who are faithful. You and I can do this by valuing the faithfulness that’s already present and adding more through encouragement.

-How to cultivate someone’s gentleness

Synopsis: Sometimes people aren’t gentle because they’ve never had an opportunity to practice it. They don’t know how to be gentle. I suggest letting them (and helping them) practice on you.

-How to train someone’s self-control

Synopsis: I think training for self-control is more effective when it’s focused on changing influences rather than directly attacking habits. So to help others with self-control, focus on surrounding friends with influences that promote self-control instead of selfishness.

Finale

If there’s one thing I’d like to leave you with from this series, it’s this:

You can spread the fruit of the Spirit by…

• Pointing to Christ and what He’s done for us and…
• Teaching others to do the same.

The Holy Spirit is all about pointing to Jesus. So when we encourage others to do the same, the Holy Spirit works through them.

When it comes down to it, that’s what this (and everything else I share here) is all about.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) If you’d like to come back to this series in the future or share it with others, you can bookmark or point to this post.

(2) In the comments, which of these did you find most useful?

(3) Now go spread some fruit.

• The Automatic Mentor: Why “people watching” might change your life
• YES: The “get rich quick” trick for gaining serving experience
• Courage to serve
• Teaching kids (and yourself) to share
• Why I’m NOT a big fan of authenticity

Source: Cameron Cassan

“Hey, Marshall – how would you feel about learning to play drums?” It was the end of 2002 when my dad asked me.

“Um, why?” I wondered.

“Well, we need a drummer. I’d like to start playing out more, and you can use that kit up at the chapel.”

Our worship band had just lost it’s drummer. I had been learning to play guitar for a couple years at that point. My dad wanted me to switch to drums because the worship team needed a drummer.

Eventually, like within a couple minutes of my dad asking, I agreed. I didn’t really know how this was going to turn out, but I was in.

Here I’m going to tell about how I became a drummer and some of the lessons I learned along the way. These lessons, though, could benefit anything you and I do to serve others:

• Teaching Sunday School
• Organizing outreach events
• Volunteering to be a greeter
• And so on

If you’re trying to improve in any ministry, I think these lessons apply. See if you can find some connections.

I said yes

Actually, I said, “I guess.” I could have been more committed.

Still, what’s important is that I went ahead with it. It didn’t seem like such a massive decision at the time, but looking back, that decision changed my life in a big way.

Lesson: Be available. When asked, jump into it. Say yes (and follow through).

I learned in the band

From the start, I practiced with the band. Musicians’ Fellowship was Tuesday night. That’s when I played. Most drummers don’t start out that way. For most drummers, playing with others (not a CD player or iPod) is a rare treat. For me, it was the opposite.

Playing in a band from the get go taught me early on about dynamics, musical interaction, and playing parts. A lot of beginning drummers are all over the place, stomping on what the rest of the band is doing. That’s not musical.

Lesson: Learn with others. When you work on doing your part (not whatever you want), the learning process goes much smoother.

I played live for the “first time” early on

That first live experience was terrifying. I was more nervous for that than when I taught on Sunday morning for the first time. It might have been less important in the grand scheme of the service, but for me, it mattered.

I sweat through my shirt before I even started playing. But somehow, I did it, and now playing in front of an audience doesn’t make me nervous at all (really).

Lesson: Press through that “first time” as soon as possible. You won’t want to do it. No matter how much you think it won’t get easier, it will afterward. Best to get it out of the way early.

I played live all the time

I practiced for about a month. After that, I played live three to four times a week for a couple years straight. The time in front of an audience forced me to develop quickly. And I had instant feedback. If something wasn’t working in a major way, I knew it right then.

Lesson:  Learn by actually doing it… a lot. Don’t practice too long. Machine gun it: “Ready, fire, aim!”

I listened to the best drummers

Before learning to play drums, I’d listened for guitar parts (since I played guitar then). Afterward, I started listening for drum grooves and fills. This came in two parts.

Part 1: Listening for inspiration. In some situations, certain drummers go insane… in a good way. I mean, they go “I don’t even understand what’s happening” crazy on the kit.  Watch Antonio Sanchez in this video for example.

I didn’t learn much from watching that, but the inspiration kept me playing.

Lesson: Watch people who are many times better than you. You might not learn specific tactics you can apply, but you’ll get the inspiration to continue through the difficult stuff.

Part 2: Listening for the basics. In most situations, especially in worship music, I’m not playing all that insane stuff. And it’s hard to learn from that anyway. Instead I studied amazing drummers playing the grooves and fills that work for most songs.

I learned a ton from Joe Porter (Jars of Clay) in this song. I still remember copying some of that note for note and playing it for worship.

Lesson: Study people you can copy directly and immediately. Spend the most time on this listening. The best are the best at the basics too. Don’t discount that. Imitate the pros even when you’re starting out.

I listened to my own drumming

I’m not being selfish here. Quite the opposite. I’m talking about recording my playing, listening to it, critiquing it, and learning from it. That’s actually devastating the first time. Music production is amazing now, so listening back revealed how lousy I really was (am).

Carefully listening to where I mess up is easier, though, when I’m not playing at the same time. It hurts, but it’s a surprisingly good way to learn. (I need to do it more often.)

Lesson: Find a way to critique yourself. This might mean tracking your progress on paper. It might mean asking others how you’re doing. However you can, do it.

Summary

My dad happened to be the worship leader which gave me an advantage in opportunities. I wouldn’t have learned as quickly if I’d been in a different situation. I’m not writing that off.

And I’m certainly not a drummer extraordinaire now. Over the past few years, I’ve not played as much and have actually grown worse over time. (That’s another lesson: stick with it or you’ll lose it.)

I say all this only to illustrate how I quickly learned a particular skill that served the church. I didn’t start out with any intention to play drums (my brothers were actually gunning for that instrument). Through some prodding in the beginning and a lot of experience, it just happened.

And since then I’ve been extremely blessed through this ministry… and the blessing’s spread to others. I encourage you to try something similar.

Once again, here are just the lessons:

• Be available
• Learn with others
• Press through that first time as soon as possible
• Learn by actually doing it… a lot
• Watch people who are many times better than you
• Study people you can copy directly and immediately
• Find a way to critique yourself

Using these, what could you learn to help serve others?

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Apply the lessons I learned from playing drums to (just about) to something you’re learning (or could be learning) to serve the church or anyone at all.

(2) How else do you learn? What lessons have you gained through practice? Share in the comments.

• The complete guide to others-oriented fruit of the Spirit
• The Automatic Mentor: Why “people watching” might change your life
• Renee Johnson interview and blog tour
• The art of serving others
• YES: The “get rich quick” trick for gaining serving experience

This is a guest post by Kyle Reed from Thoughts About Nothing. If you’re interested in guest posting for bondChristian, let me know.

Kyle's project

“People watching” is probably one of my favorite hobbies. You know, sitting there, making comments in your head as people walk by you. It provides hours of entertainment that is just good, clean, family fun (well, that is dependent on who you are observing, I guess).

Have you ever been people watching and one of your “peeps” (that is what I call them) spots you? You make eye contact and then quickly look in the other direction, hoping that they didn’t spot you looking at them. That is when people watching turns from fun to just plain awkward.

Take shopping for example

I was doing some last minute Christmas shopping last year. Standing in line waiting to pay for my gifts, I started my usual routine of scanning the crowd. The lady in the next checkout lane was mid scan when our eyes met. We both glanced away, and I kept my head down the rest of the time until I could get out of there.

As I was thinking back to that moment, I realized something:

People “people watch” me (say that five times fast).

Yes, people actually watch what I do, taking in the way I walk or what I am wearing. I have been people watched.

We watch others but assume no one watches us – as if we blend into those fake bushes behind the park bench at the mall. This idea that the world is a stage and the characters are on display for us to watch is not only narcissistic, it is false.

The common trend today is for people to people watch others to make themselves feel better. Whether watching people on television, reading magazines, or catching up on the daily gossip from friends, we watch people in order to feel good about ourselves.

Take The Truman Show for example

One of my favorite movies is The Truman Show. It’s about a guy named Truman (played by Jim Carey) who is on a literal “reality” TV show, featuring his life for millions to watch.

Have you ever thought of what it would be like if you were on The Truman Show? Thousands of cameras following you around, microphones picking up every word you say, and millions of people watching your every move. How would things be different? Would you change anything? I know I would be a completely different person.

Living on display would bring so much pressure that I would have an identity crisis much like Truman did in The Truman Show. This haunting fact that someone might be observing me might make me so self aware that I could not even go out in public. That is the interesting thing about all of this: we change who we are because people are watching.

What this means for mentoring

I have a lot of conversations with people about mentoring others. People often say that don’t mentor because no one would want to learn from them. I usually spoil those thoughts by telling them that people are watching and learning.

You are a mentor whether you like it or not. People are watching, observing, and learning from what you are doing. Is that a scary thought for you? I know it can be for me. It can be scary, or it can be the very thing you and I need to hear to know that we can make a difference.

Serving Suggestion:

(1) If you knew someone were following you around with a camera, studying your every move, what’s the #1 habit you’d change. Start with that. Because people are people watching you.

(2) Visit Kyle’s Mentor Me Project. He has this crazy dream that one day everyone will be connected and mentored. Kyle also blogs at Thoughts About Nothing.

• The complete guide to others-oriented fruit of the Spirit
• YES: The “get rich quick” trick for gaining serving experience
• Why I’m NOT a big fan of authenticity
• Your objections to slavery (and my responses)
• Top 10 reasons to become a slave

The Devo Diva herself!

Renee Johnson (a.k.a. Devotional Diva) asked me to participate in her book, blog tour. I don’t even know what that means. I’ve never participated in one before. So of course, my hand shot up (then I had to tweet back because she couldn’t see my hand).

Renee Johnson has been writing devotions for young adults for a while (like years). Now, though, she has her first book coming out, which… well, I’ll let her introduce you to it.

What I really liked about Renee when I began learning more about her was that she took what she enjoyed and turned it around to help others. In many of her interviews (which you can check out here by the way), she talked about how she was inspired to write devotionals after she had read through a number of them herself. She realized there was a need for devotionals that dig deeper and aren’t so cheesy. I can relate.

I liked, though, that Renee decided to do something about it, to actually start writing devotions of her own to share.

Finally, she compiled these devotions into her book, Faithbook of Jesus, and that’s what this tour is about. Renee’s letting me post a whole devotion right here for you to check out. She was also gracious enough to answer some quick questions (it’s not really an interview because I don’t know how to interview either). So with that, I’ll let her introduce you to her book.

*****

In one (perhaps) run-on sentence, how would you describe Faithbook to someone who’s unfamiliar with your writing?

Faithbook is like facebook only with a lisp, which includes a wall post (daily devotional), comments (including prayer), tag (quotes from other 20-somethings), and a link to an online community (faithbookofjesus.ning.com).

I heard that you were homeschooled (I was too) and started out as a math major in college. How did that background birth an author?

I never thought I would be a writer until one day sitting at the newspaper where I was working, they asked me to be the music columnist because I took a history of rock and roll class. I never looked back. Plus I got a C in Calculus 2, and I never get C’s.

That’s quite the turn around. So what made you write this book – what one thing do you want readers to take away from your it?

How to have daily time with God that’s fun, meaningful, and changes their life in a positive way.

I like carrot juice. Knowing that, fill in the blank: Marshall is to carrot juice as Renee is to _______.

…cheese.

Nice. Finally, what question do you wish everyone asked you but no one does (and how would you answer it)?

I love this! I wish everyone asked me how introverted I was instead of assuming that I’m this huge extrovert. I grew up shy, homeschooled, and I journaled every day asking God to heal me. And now that He has, people don’t see where I’ve come from but only a product of God’s healing. So as touched as I am that people don’t ask – I still wish they would.

Right on, Renee. Thanks so much for sharing.

Faithbook excerpt

All right, here’s one of Renee’s devotions for you to get a feel for the Faithbook. I particularly like what she says about praying with Thank You’s. Perhaps I’m biased though.

Desperate Prayer Lives

“This, then, is how you should pray . . .” — M a t t h e w 6 : 9

What do you consider praying? There can be many reasons why you pray, but the best reason of all is to talk with Jesus as you would your best friend. Here are four examples of how to know Jesus more personally today:

1 . Pray with Please and Thank You

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

2 . Pray About Anything

“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints” (Ephesians 6:18).

3 . Pray in Secret

“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you” (Matthew 6:6).

4 . Pray as Jesus Did

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one” (Matthew 6:9-13).

• Sheri, 23, said that prayer “is a place of quiet waiting on God. Other times it is requests for direction, healing of hurts, for Jesus to bring freedom to lives of friends, family, and for the many who do not know him.”

• Dear Teacher Jesus, Thank you for the privilege of knowing you. Teach us how to pray. Give us prayer lives that are desperate for more of you each day. Amen.

• What’s your desperation story? Think about a time in your life when God answered the cries of your heart. Please visit www.faithbookofjesus.com and click on “Community” to share.

• To Read Further: Matthew 6:9-15

And that, my friends, is a small glimpse into Faithbook and its author. I hope you enjoyed it.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Visit Renee’s blog. She’s been posting daily devotions like the one you just read. You can sense her energy and enthusiasm when you get to know her more. If you enjoyed what you just read, show her a little support by leaving a comment on her blog or…

(2) Check out here book, Faithbook of Jesus, due out in March. You can get more information about it at www.faithbookofjesus.com.

• Touching Godliness Through Submission – “Free” book
• Learning from mY Generation: Stories on the art of listening
• Contest + free stuff = My happy birthday to you!
• Others-oriented quiet time: Sharing your personal relationship with Jesus Christ
• How a 17-year-old is teaching Christian manliness – with Nate Desmond

When I was about 10 years old, I became fascinated with drawing. I thought drawing on a 2-D surface and making pictures that looked 3-D was incredible. Eventually, my 3-D art went on to form the base for much of what you see in Avatar. I know you’re dying to know my secrets, so here you go.

How I started drawing

Photo by Bill HR

As a squirt (i.e. young kid), I of course colored and drew and painted. But I’d say my drawing really started with a book called Drawing Textbook. It taught me how to create a foreshortened circle. (A foreshortened circle is that oval-like shape used to create the top of the cake in the picture.) That rocked my world.

After that, I learned the foreshortened square (which does for the square what the foreshortened circle did for the circle). After that, I learned about shading. The shading tipped me over the edge – I was hooked.

I started drawing buildings of my own. I drew household objects. I started trying different kinds of shading, trying to show more than one light source. I tried charcoal. I mixed different textures and elements. I pushed beyond the simple exercises I’d learned to create my own ideas.

That’s how I started drawing.

Let’s go back over this, though, because – like drawing – serving others is also an art.

How you start serving others like an artist

In the beginning, you’re like me with drawing: you goof around with it. You do it because it’s fun. You genuinely – though perhaps somewhat naively – care about others. But what you’re doing might not actually help anyone. You’re art is lousy.

My first drawings before I learned anything about drawing were pathetic. No one told me that, though, because I was three years old and my heart was bursting forth with creative expression.

That’s also how we all start with the art of serving others. Our hearts are in it, but what we actually have to offer others is pathetic.

After a while if you stick with it, you discover something (or perhaps someone) who ignites you with a desire to learn the art, to study it, to develop you abilities with it.

For my drawing, that spark came from the Drawing Textbook. It started with some basic principles (the foreshortened circles and squares) and gave me a feeling for what was possible.

So you spend time with the art. You build a foundation. You learn what others have done. You copy them. But then with art, to become a real artist, what do you do? You make it your own.

Once you’ve learned the basics of serving others, you start creating. You start mixing and matching. You start exploring what’s different about the way you serve. You’re going to have abilities that no one else has.

At this point, serving others becomes art. You grab ideas from others, but you make them your own. You inject your own style. It’s not art if you’re coloring by number. You often need the color by number guides, the Drawing Textbooks, to ignite your desire to start learning to serve others. That’s what I hope many of the articles here do. And yes, you can (and should) serve while you learn.

But the real art of serving others is creative. It’s about getting to know your art. It’s about going beyond anything any person can teach you and becoming fully in the Spirit.

Welcome to artistry.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Where are you in the process? Are you passionate about wanting to learn but still unsure about the tactics? Are you copying others, trying to learn to serve (I mean that in a good way)? Are you creating your own art? Find where you’re at right now. Don’t get discouraged – I move around all the time. I don’t think serving others is always a straight progression from novice to expert.

(2) Now that you know where you’re at, what do you need to do next? Do you need to learn the basics? Do you need to copy others? Do you need to start mixing and matching? It helps to know the process – but it’s worthless unless you actually do something about it.

• The complete guide to others-oriented fruit of the Spirit
• How I learned to play drums to serve the church
• The Automatic Mentor: Why “people watching” might change your life
• Renee Johnson interview and blog tour
• YES: The “get rich quick” trick for gaining serving experience

When you first get into serving others, you don’t know how to serve. You might come at it by giving what you want to give instead of giving what’s wanted or needed. What’s worse, you still don’t have the motivation to serve. You’re thankful, but it’s a superficial. You’re not grounded yet.

Been there? Me too.

What you need need is a simple formula for educating yourself in the art of serving others. Well, here it is:

Say, “Yes!”

Throughout your daily interactions, you’re bound to encounter friends who have requests. Some ask you to wash dishes, buy groceries, or pass the gravy. Others ask for parenting advice, help with a stalled car, or a loan (sugar, napkin, money… you know).

When they ask, say, “Yes!”

Do “Yes!”

It’s not enough to say yes. That alone is lame.

Remember the parable about the two sons, one who said, “Yeah, I’ll do it,” but never did and one who said, “No, I won’t do it,” but did? Yeah, which obeyed the request? (Hint: check Matthew 21:28-32)

Saying “yes” is a bonus because it builds your credibility IF you follow through with what you say. Following through is the clincher.

…every time

YES isn’t something for once in a while. Try it for a week. Straight. Say yes every time someone makes a request

Exceptions: Only if you can think of a biblical reason within one minute to not say yes. Assume, though, that God wants you to serve. He does.

And through this exercise, you’ll learn…

• How people ask
• When they ask
• What they ask for
• And, perhaps most importantly for you, what you can actually do to serve others

You’ll amaze people in the process. You’ll surprise people with your out of the ordinary willingness to serve. Maybe you’ll even get a reputation for it.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Say YES this week.

(2) What’s a request you’ve YESed that’s made a larger than expected impact? Leave a comment to let us know.

• The complete guide to others-oriented fruit of the Spirit
• The Automatic Mentor: Why “people watching” might change your life
• Why I’m NOT a big fan of authenticity
• Your objections to slavery (and my responses)
• Top 10 reasons to become a slave