This post is part of a series explaining the categories on this site. Have future posts delivered to you for free by grabbing the RSS feed or email updates.
Someone once asked me, “So, are you in a relationship?”
I knew what she meant. “No,” I said.
What I didn’t fully know is what I meant. I understand that “relationship” means guy/girl or man/woman, intimate, romantic. Got it. But I’ve also heard a godbillion times that God wants a personal relationship with me. And what about a relationships between friends?
“Relationship” is a loaded word. It can mean so many different things in different contexts. That’s why I’m trying to explain some of what I mean when I say it.
What I mean by “relationship” is broader than the typical “Are you in a relationship?” definition. On this site, relationships mean people, usually one on one. For example:
- Romance counts.
- Family counts.
- Friendship counts.
[For you fellow economist nerds out there, the relationship between supply and demand doesn't count. 
]
The emotional connection measure
I measure the depth of relationships by their emotional connection. Proximity and genealogies can affect that emotional connection, but they don’t have to.
- Online relationships count just as much as offline relationships. I no longer distinguish between friends just because I’ve not physically met some some of them.
- Friendship relationships count just as much as “blood” relationships. Family relationships perhaps should be deeper than friendships, but I don’t automatically say they are just because of a family tree.
Relationships at bondChristian
bondChristian is a social project. Serving others, by definition, is about people. So relationships are important, perhaps more important here than at other Christian websites where the emphasis is more personal and devotional.
In a way, everything here is about relationships. Does that mean then that everything written here falls into this category? Not really. When you click the “relationships” category up top, you’ll find posts that deal specifically with one on one relationships:
- Jesus/person
- Husband/wife
- Parents/child
- Sister/brother
- Friend/friend
- Professor/student
- Employer/Employee
- Master/slave
And so on – you get the idea. Also, some of these include negative relationships (like friend/enemy) or any other combination of one on one interaction.
That’s what relationships here are all about. They’re about the one on one connection and interaction between people and how we cultivate them, not just romantic connections. (If you’re looking for articles about relationships involving more than two people, try the Church or Outreach categories.)
Friends and guest posts
While we’re on the subject, let me point you to a couple of my friends.
I found Justin Grice’s site, Christian in College, in 2008. At the time, I was a Christian in college, so that seemed like a sweet fit. I’ve enjoyed getting to know him on and off since then. This week I actually wrote a guest post for his blog called “The extraordinary opportunity for college friending.” Check it out, and get to know the site and Justin.
I hooked up with Landry Glaubemann just this past month. You might recognize him from the comments here. Last week, he asked if I would write some guest posts for his blog. I didn’t know if I’d be able to find the time to write many, but somehow it worked out. Landry lives in Germany and, as you might know, I’m in beautiful Louisville, Kentucky. It’s been a lot of fun connecting with him. You can check out the first three posts in my “Thankfulness Matters” series at his blog here:
- “Why we serve God“
- “What is thankfulness?“
- “The only meaningful response to receiving amazing gifts“
Serving Suggestions:
(1) What do you mean by “relationships”? Does your definition switch depending on the context? How? Let us know in the comments.
(2) Check out the guest posts and the sites. Leave comments. And enjoy your weekend.
Twitter Updates
Thank for the Post,
Thank for the Announce.
By The way let me present myself.
I am Landry Glaubemann(this is a nickname I choose after reading the life story of Martin Luther )
I study Food Technology,
I am Married and Father of one.
Student in the School of Evangelism from Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron.
a Fan of bible scholar like , C J Mahaney, R C Sproul, John Piper, David Wilkerson, and all the preachers from the past.
Passion: Read read read, have a library but not like the one of Tim Challies, (Working on my First Book that would be release this year , the title will let it know soon on my blog )time with Family and Sport.
What Again?
Live in Germany in Munich.
Just look at my Blog and you will learn much from my passion , don´t forget to leave a comment.
I appreciate the introduction. It’s wonderful getting to know more about you. Thank you for commenting.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
thanks, if ever you think to visit Germany an particularly Munich , let me know you are welcome at our house and local church.
Thank you for the invitation. That would be a lot of fun.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
“Family relationships perhaps should be deeper than friendships, but I don’t automatically say they are just because of a family tree.”
You know they say, “You can chose your friends but you can’t chose your family.” I define friends as the people I chose to be in my family.
My definition of relationship doesn’t change, I don’t think, in a basic sense, but like working I have a different relationship with the other supervisors than I do with everyone else, it also depends on who I work with more, because we tend to have a better relationship. Really you have some kind of relationship with everyone you come in contact with, but it’s still a relationship none the less.
I know what you mean there, Sarah. Every interaction we have with others is a relationship of some kind. Like I said, though, if that were my definition all the time, every post here would be about relationships. All that to say, yep, I’m all about relationships… of all kinds.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
I almost started laughing when I read this post… I also use a broader definition of relationship than many of my friends/acquaintances. And I have to be careful or else I will get myself into a pickle. But I hate how we’ve reduced such a rich word to such a narrow definition, as if “relationship” can only refer to something romantic.
Which brings me to a point that I’ve been pondering lately. It is my opinion that a romantic relationship should flow from and build on a non-romantic relationship (i.e. friendship). Morever, let’s look at how we in our Western mindset view friendships vs romantic relationships.
When we begin a friendship with someone, we rarely anticipate an expiration date. Most of the time, if the friendship ends up not working out, its due to geographic distance. When people hit problems, issues, etc in their friendships, they are typically willing to do what it takes to make the friendship work, no matter what.
When people begin a romantic relationship, it is almost with the expectation of an expiration date in mind… As if it is impossible to be “compatible” (which is a crock) with someone long term… Look at how we date, how we marry & divorce, etc. Even the fact that we have a word to end marriages, but not friendships…
I think that if we could have a holistic view of relationships, in the context of what they truly are (relationships!), we would have a much better chance of having healthy romantic relationships. This is not to say that I think you should marry every person you date. But that our perspective is skewed.
Putting away my soapbox… I suppose that being single for the last 6 or 7 years has given me ample time to consider and ponder and examine.
I just know that the next time I am in a romantic relationship (if that should ever occur), I want it to be a healthy one.
First, thank you for your wonderful comment, Katie. You brought up so much.
I’m not sure about he friendship part – I know some of my friendships haven’t stuck together through anything. I think I know what you mean though. We assume romantic relationships are going to be perfect (even if we’d never actually say that). When something goes wrong, we are quicker to give it up… in romance we tolerate less friction.
I definitely like what you said about starting with friendship before moving into romance. That’s absolutely true. Friendship is the foundation of all healthy relationships. I foresee some posts on this in the future.
Thank you again for your comment.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
1. Munich Germany is a wonderful city. I enjoyed it in 2006.
2. Lousiville, Ky (is it really pronounced Lull-ville?) is the only US city my sister would consider living in, although her goal is to live in England in 10 yrs.
3. I look forward to reading about the whole friend/enemy thing.
4. Supply and demand *chuckles*
I loved to visit Munich.
Louisville… I pronounce it the first way mentioned here. As Wikipedia says, though, there are a couple different ways people try to pronounce it. I can tell who’s from around here by how they pronounce the city name. I really like the city. It’s has a small city feel with the convenience/coolness of a big city. Why would your sister want to live here – has she visited?
Thanks, as always, for commenting.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
Her best friend (read: second family) lives there.
Thanks for posting.
Ah, yep… it’s pretty much the best place in the whole entire world to live.
-Marshall Jones Jr.