What you need to know about asking people what they want

Note: This is the first part of a series on finding out what people want.

If you’ve clicked through to read this, you probably already know why this is important.

You get that serving others involves figuring out what and how to best serve.
You get that part of that means studying people to learn what they want.
You get that studying people includes interacting with them directly.

So I’ll jump straight into the content. This article explains some of the advantages and disadvantages of asking and studying people to find out what they want.

Advantages of asking people

1. It’s direct.

Other methods, which I’ll talk about later, require you to indirectly apply what you learn elsewhere to specific people. But what’s more direct than asking the person you’re trying to serve how you can serve? This gives you an immediate feedback loop, so you can quickly adjust.

2. It’s polite.

People appreciate your concern. Asking shows your interest, and when you start to follow-through with what they ask, you won’t get resistance because, after all, they asked for it. It’s a way to serve on their terms.

3. It often reveals the most specific responses.

This isn’t always the case, but it’s more common here than with any other method you’ll try. When you study someone in particular, it’s often easiest to figure out what they want in a practical sense, instead of only learning what they want in general.

Disadvantages of asking people

1. They’re confused about what they want.

While the advantage is learning specific details, this can backfire leaving you with only low-level material. Like someone might say they want to build a 10-million dollar business or marry the 10-million dollar man when what they really want is the security they associate with those things. People are notoriously bad about this kind of confusion.

2. They can’t explain what they want.

This is similar to them confusing what they want, but in this case they can’t even give you much hint at what they want. As I’ll share in a couple weeks, there are ways around this to dig into their deeper desires, but it’s a problem you should be aware of up front.

3. You can’t always ask.

This is a logistics issue. You don’t always have the opportunity to ask or study people. Sometimes you need to know what they want before you even know them specifically.

Overall…

This direct approach to finding out what people want is a good one because it’s “in the trenches” and practical even though by itself it’s often superficial. Understanding the strengths and weaknesses, though, will help you know when and how to use it most effectively.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Get involved with others. The Bible uses a word for this that I particularly like. It says, “Abide,” which means to rest and remain and bear patiently and become one and a bunch of other cool things. That’s part of what’s required to find out from others what they want.

(2) The other part is paying attention. It’s not enough to be involved with people – we have to pay attention to what’s going on in order to learn what drives them.

(3) Read the next part of the series: What you need to know about asking yourself what people want.