Why I’m NOT a big fan of authenticity

What shows when you remove your mask? (Photo: DerrickT)

“I know you, and I don’t blame you. You don’t want to go out with her ’cause she’s a little chubby.”

[Awkward pause.]

“What? I’m just keepin’ it real.”

I’m not sure how many times I’ve heard this or similar conversations, but it’s often enough for me to want to give up on authenticity.

Why authenticity seems so superb

Authenticity seems wonderful. In a world of fakes, authentic people – down-to-earth blokes who reveal who they are – stand out.

A big criticism of Christianity is that we’re all a bunch of hypocrites. That’s how I’d argue if I weren’t a Christian. Jesus even called us on it more than anything else.

So really, authenticity is a response to hypocrisy. We assume if we’re authentic enough, we’ll shed hypocrisy.

Fair enough.

The deal-breaker for authenticity

Authenticity is a direct connection between our thoughts and our lips (and sometimes even our lives). Maybe that’s not what it originally meant, but that’s what it’s become. And that’s NOT good.

We’ve grown to assume that if we’re thinking it, we might as well say it… because otherwise, we’re not being authentic, we’re not being open.

But the Bible promotes no such thing. It says…

“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” -Ephesians 4:29

In other words, shut up unless you’re helping someone.

That’s a narrow gate. Not much in my thought life meets those criteria. But that’s what the Bible says, which implies that most of my thoughts are going to be closed, not open.

Wait, Marshall – aren’t we called to confess?

Yes, but that’s only part of it.

“He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confess es and forsakes them will have mercy.” -Proverbs 28:13

This is the verse that does it for me. Keeping sin covered isn’t a good idea. I’m all there. Instead, though, it says to confess and forsake sin.

If we look at this in context with the “shut up unless you’re helping someone” verse, the confession only helps if we’re then going to forsake.

That’s my problem with authenticity.

Authenticity promotes confessing but not forsaking, keepin’ it real, but not making it better.

Confessing is a means to an end. Confessing helps with forsaking. But if the forsaking never happens – if it’s not even on the agenda – the confessing only hurts.

  • I don’t want or need to hear how you really feel about your boss if you’re not changing your mind.
  • I don’t want or need to hear how you really feel about your spouse’s failings if you’re just complaining.
  • I don’t want or need to hear what’s on your mind unless…

1. It’s going to improve someone else.

2. It’s going to improve you.

For some of you, this isn’t much of a problem. You’re good with tongue biting, or at least better than most. I’m not, and I think for many of you caught up in the authenticity craze, this is a problem for you too.

So what I propose instead

As you know, I’m not a boycotter – I’m a supporter. It sure seems like I’m boycotting authenticity, right? So you might wonder what I support instead.

For a long time, I didn’t know what to call it, but finally I think I’ve found a word:

Sincerity, and why I choose it over authenticity

Sincerity is a “should” – authenticity is an “is.”

Sincerity is moving, progressing, and working to improve. Authenticity is a stagnate description of the status quo.

  • With authenticity, it’s easy to say, “Well, this is how I am. I’m real. You either like me or not. Take it or leave it. I come just as I am.”
  • But sincerity says, “I know I’m flawed, but I’ll do everything I can to be amazing. I come not as I am but as I could be.”

Sincerity implies trying – authenticity implies fact. Being sincere is about being what you really care about and being who you really want to be, not just who you are.

I don’t hate authenticity. It definitely has its place. But I think it’s overrated. Authenticity should never be the goal. Authenticity is for knowing where we are so we know how to improve.

“And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more… that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ…” -Philippians 1:9-10

Serving Suggestions:

(1) First off, I’d like your thoughts on this. Have you noticed authenticity going too far, or am I distorting it too much? How do you feel about it?

(2) If you think authenticity needs some improvement, how do you think we can do it?